maaan, being stupid must be fun. has to be, right? i really wouldn't know, i've been on level X so long that i don't remember how to think like the average person sharing my statisticals.

its not always fun being a conscious minority in a sleeping majority. big problem--you can't talk to anyone. well you can, but its gonna take a lot of energy and patience and probably some cigarettes (even if you don't smoke). it gets so old trying to explain age-old shit to a stupid motherfucker that's not (and may never) actually get it. its a waste of breath. and honestly, i get too high to sit and entertain some fool who's more than likely just patronizing or mocking me cause they've been brainfuckinwashed to do so.

how sad.

so...okay, wait. before i mention the book, i wanna give an honorable mention to that lil stupid fuck that inspired this thought i'm typing. you see, its no secret to anyone around me that i'm very...afrocentric, pro-black, etc. i turn people off somehow with it, i cannot understand what in the hell makes hard dicks go soft and wet pussies turn dry as soon as i mention something about Black revolution and empowerment. but anyway, i guess i was looking too hella fresh today and this stupid nigga didn't wanna get out of my face just yet so he tried to make conversation. something i could relate to, something that would impress me and spur a conversation that we could both interact in...so this punk racked his brain and came up with something deep and clever........

"so if you love being black and black people so much, then why do say nigger so much?"

aaaaaaahahaha. i love getting that dumbass question from the zombies. i know it seems like a paradox, it really is. but i was too trip to elaborate to this fool about my "nigga-collective-representation-term-of-endearment" thesis so i just mentioned some books for him to look into before asking a question such as, lit a spliff, blew the smoke at homeboy and went my merry way.

my thing is this--i refuse to give a word that much power, a word utilized from back in the day to this day to evoke a certain reaction and emotional stress. i know all too well why many people like me don't fuck with the "nigga" word and i understand and respect their choice. but in my opinion, i feel that the word is just a ghost of what it once was and meant, and that its unique and mainstreamly acceptable to only one culture as nonoffensive. that's my folks cuz, me & the Black Americans. my niggas. we're going through this together, and no matter how different we are and how we feel about each other--we all are collectively descendants of and survivors of the Black experience. we all have to be Black in a country that hates on us so shiiiiit..."nigga" in a way, is kind of a way for me to express to my people (and vice versa) that "we here" [waves two fingers between our eyes]. a way to acknowledge our common bond and shared struggles. my niggas are all over doing different shit, but we're still Black. like my nigga Barack...he even got the "Black version" of a presidential campaign and election process. now that's fucked up, but all my niggas know how it is. and we're not at all surprised that the media would blatantly and repeatedly disrespect the brother and his wife...cause all my niggas have been through this shit many times before in their life and will undoubtedly experience it again.

but like i said, explaining this shit to a fool is pointless and futile. along with discussing my choice of association, religion, sexuality, etc....no point in trying to enlighten a dead person. they have their minds made up. so i just shut my fucking mouth and give them a pre-prepared list of books to read and then maybe we can talk. cause if you really want to know, that's where the answers are. i mean its not as if i just awakened one day with all this knowledge...

1. The Isis Papers (Dr. Frances Cress Welsing)
2. Soul On Ice (Eldridge Cleaver)
3. Angry Black White Boy (Adam Mawsbach)
4. Mein Kampf (Adolf Hitler)
5. The Miseducation Of The Negro (Carter Woodson)
6. Native Son (Richard Wright)
7. No Disrespect (Sister Souljah)
8. How To Rent A Negro (Damali Ayo)

wording 'em up, x.