Hello all of my Imeem Family and Friends,


It seems like forever since being here. First let me wish each and everyone a very Happy Thanks Giving. ............................................Even though for some it may not seem like you feel thankful trust me there are many things even in the midst of trials to be thankful for. How do I know? I am in one of the most stressful situations that I have ever been in and yet I find things to be thankful for everyday. I have learned in the midst of these trials that having an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude keeps me happy and sane. Well at least for the most part LOL.


To update everyone I am living in Ohio and have been for the last few months. I am still with my Husband and doing my best to work things out. I have gone back to work here at a place called Ollies Bargain Outlet. It is not the most prestigious job but none the less it is a job. We are still living with my In-Laws which is one of the trials I face everyday. I am thankful for the roof over my head and a place to rest my head at the end of the day. That said trust me the trials are many. Not just for me but for everyone in the house. We have invaded their space and must adjust to their lifestyle. Thankfully we have an application for an apt and trusting God we will be able to move into the first of December. Please keep us in your prayers that God will open the door for us to move out and move on with our lives.

The weather has been great so far. Being that I come from Canada I am familiar with the cold weather but having lived in Florida for 9 1/2 years it remains to be seen how we will both adjust to the cold when it does come. I have not seen snow yet but they say that we are going to have it by tomorrow. They are forecasting a snow storm. ........I am looking forward to it but we still do not have snow tires on our vehicle so it may be tough for us to get around lol.

Today we are having a Thanks Giving Family dinner of which I am more than thrilled to have since my eating here has been somewhat limited, I say that with a smile as I am not allowed to utilize the kitchen and my in-laws do not cook much nor are their eating habits regular. There are days that I go to work on two coffees and my lunch is a doughnut................................... That would be my intake for the day. On one hand it is a good thing as I am losing weight on the other hand it does not give me much nourishment to keep me on my feet for 9 hours a day doing retail. Yet God gives me the strength daily to get me through. God is so good my friends. He has brought me through so much in the last few months that it boggles my mind.

Sometimes it takes something like this to reveal to us just how much God is taking care of us. I am not saying that I enjoy the trials but in them I see the hand of God at work. I have been away from Imeem deliberately due to the fact that prior to this moment I really did not have anything positive to share with you. I would rather not share unless I have good news or at the very least inspiring news. I feel with my whole heart that this was meant to be for many reasons. I continually learn to live in grace and love where most would have given up or have lost their cool. I am not saying that I still do not have my moments but for the most part I am being kept in a good place where I can learn more about myself more than anything else. I had and still have many things that I must deal with in me let alone others. So I see this as a blessing in disguise.

The place that I am employed at although it is very difficult for me has brought me much joy. Meeting good people who are more than willing to work with my limitations. People who like me are struggling but extend themselves to help me as much as they can. I did not have any of this when I lived in Florida. People who are compassionate, polite and understanding. I am seeking other employment but that said I am becoming attached to those around me as they continue to bring me into the fold of the family feeling in the work place. I actually awake looking forward to going to work even as difficult as it is for me. That say's a lot about the people that I work with. What a difference it has made in my life coming from a place where there is little to no communication to a place where they are open and caring. I am so blessed to have been given this position.

I have also been blessed by those of you who continue to send me messages and comments. I have felt guilty many days for not returning any but at the same time feel that those of you who know me know that if I had been in a good place I would have commented or messaged back. I thank you all for your love and support regardless of what I have been going through. I could not be happier that I have found true friends here at Imeem who have continued to support and care for me. There is no place like this place on the net and trust me I have been around but here is where my heart is and here is where people truly care about and love me. It is ever present in all that each of you continue to send to me. I wish that there was more that I could say or do to show you just how much you all mean to me but this post is all that I have to give.

I truly feel your love and can only trust that you feel the love that I am sending back out to all of you. I am trusting that I will be back posting more often when we move into our own place. Then I will have more time and hopefully a more peaceful environment to write in. I do miss writing..............This is my first love.....

I continue to keep all of you in my prayers and trust that the God and Father that I speak to hears them and answers. I pray that all have a wonderful day today and that the season will bring all of us just a little closer together and bring forth much joy to every life......

With that I thank you all again for your love and support. God Bless each and everyone today and everyday.

Speaking from my heart to Yours

Heart Whisperer.aka Beverly

Loads of Love and Hugs to All

I will be shutting down my computer in a half hour and wanted to stop in and say see you all once I am relocated. Many changes have occurred which are all good my friends. Sorry that I have not been here sooner to bring you up to date but have been really busy.

Pray for our journey as well as employment when we arrive in Ohio..

I truly love each and everyone of you. Thank you to everyone for your love and support.

I have missed you but assure you once I am settled I will be back sharing with all of you the events in my life.

God Bless and Keep You....

Love and Hugz

Beverly

Hey Everyone.,

I came across this video and thought that I would share it with all of you......This should be passed around to everyone. What a simple way to reveal to all how change is good.. This change Jeffrey and myself are going through however difficult is good. Painful but good. I honestly see a brighter future for the both of us once we get past all the emotions...


Follow the link...I am sure you will enjoy it...

Speaking from my heart to yours.

Heart Whisperer/Beverly

It's all good my friends...


http://www.viddler.com/explore/VHGNYC/videos/36/

Have a great week........

Born Free (Album Version) - James Darren



Well my friends it has been an awful long journey for me....As the title of this blog says, there is good news and there is bad news.....Let me share the good news with you......I am still alive.................Seriously I mean that.......

My last visit I shared with you that we had not sold anything to leave for Ohio. Well we have only sold a few items not amounting to much in the bank. Daily there has been little to no activity to make the move both on my part and on Jeffrey's. Everyday either Jeffrey was to tired or his head was in the television,computer or resting on the arm of the couch. I kept thinking. Why on earth is he not excited? Why is he not even trying to get this done? Why, Why, Why? We have battled over and over again to no avail....I just could not understand. Will no enthusiasm I felt that I should wait to see what God was doing...In my heart of hearts I truly felt that this journey would salvage our marriage. I could see great things happening once we got away from this State.

In the totality of our marriage we were happy for about 3 years here. We actually stayed in the honeymoon phase that long. Then all of a sudden the honeymoon was over. Life here in Florida has been a living hell for me. I don't like this area.I don't like the lifestyle, the attitudes, the ignorance, the aloofness,the wages,the job market as well as the work place. Working here is unbelievable.I worked approximately 4 year and have lived in the area for 9 years and I have no physical friends. How does that happen? I am a very social person. likable, lovable (sometimes), funny, smart, intelligent, have a great sense of humor and am very giving to all who cross my path. More than willing to put a smile on the faces around me,to go the extra mile when someone is in need. To comfort when comforting is needed etc. All of this and still I have no friends here......

I have lived behind this computer now for 5 years. Gotta tell you that it has been lonely. Now don't get me wrong I love my computer and my friends inside the computer. That said there is nothing like having real friends to have fun with. to kick back with, to shop with, to go out to dinner with anything, anything but Nothing.......was all I got....Wanted a cat but was told that I could not have one,tried for a puppy but that didn't happen either.I had a brilliant idea to get a fish tank just to have something else that was living around me...Something that was just there. I could love it, it would love me back and their would be a peaceful environment. Even a little turtle something,,Nothing.....

I watched more educational television than I have my entire life, more cooking shows, biographies, H.B O, national geographic, history channel., religious channels,science etc, I have read more literature than anyone else I know. I have been blogging all over the place just to have some outside contact. Let me tell you the whole blogging thing has been a wonderful experience for me. It not only connected me to wonderful people it also assisted me in my writing talents along with opening up my mind to creativity. I love to write and create wonderful stories. So for there past years that is exactly what I have done.

Blogging for fun on one site, blogging spiritual stuff on another, just having fun on another, writing erotic stories. which by the way was not only fun but I learned just how erotic my mind can really be. I have been writing to encourage others, to open hearts and minds to a better way of living. Being here has been the best experience of all. When I first got into the music thing I joined so many sites that it was mind bending. I would go to each site not to blog but to listen to music. The doors of my mind and heart flew open when I would put the headset on and let my mind wander with the music. Out of that came more creativity. I have learned a lot since being here on this site.as well as all of the others. I learned so much about myself. That said this site afforded me a relationship with all of you. This site is good because there are good people here who are genuine. Good people who have touched my heart, good people who have been here for me as I was going through my struggles, good people who love me, good people who read my posts and got something from them whether it be one of humor,encouragement, deep posts and light posts. I am blessed to have you all as friends..

O.K I wandered...LOL LOL LOL LOL Anyway as the days have been going by and nothing was getting done there came about a discussion on why it wasn't happening. I had felt all along that Jeffrey did not want to move. Here I am praying and trusting God for all that we need to get us there and deep in his heart he does not want to really go. We argued more than once over this one. A divided house will always fall. Now I had made up my mind that if he did not want to leave Florida then I would have to go for this place is killing me.Still Nothing. There is nothing here for any nice social person. Not only is there nothing here but in 9 years the only place that I got to go to was the Golf Course to watch Jeffrey play golf. O.K a little lie. I did get to go out a few times but that was it.

I have spent 9 years of my life doing pretty much nothing. I loved going to work because at least I had interaction while there even if we didn't become friends outside of work. I love life not a good place for me to be..I have done all that I can to make life happening for us...With that we have been tearing each other apart every other day. There is no connection. He dosen't want to go and I am already out of here. As of yesterday it had to stop. No couple can go on hating one another. He will not admit to this but I know by his actions just how much he hated this situation and deep down inside me for not wanting to stay here. So not we are both living in a state of love and hate and hate was taking the lead.

My marriage is over. I am not saying anything to hurt him I am just stating the truth. I do not want to hurt him anymore and I no longer will tolerate him hurting me. I love him enough to let him go. I love me enough to leave. This is a harsh truth but it is what it is. One of us had to make the decision to stop the insanity. Since the decision a few things have happened that I knew would take a turn. Jeffrey took on an attitude of everything is good, she will change her mind she did before and has now for several months. He went about singing his songs and I was making plans in my head how to move back to Canada.

While Jeffrey was doing his thing I called my Brother and asked if he and I could share an apt together. He of course asked why and all I could tell him was that it was the end of the road. He knew exactly what I was saying. So with nothing more than a few minutes conversation I had established a home to go to.....Before long the singing stopped and reality was setting in. Again not to hurt him but he had to know that there wold come a time when I just wouldn't take it anymore.I am soft hearted and many have taken advantage of that. I am still soft hearted but I am not dumb. Love does not do what he has been doing to the both of us and our relationship has been very toxic.

Jeffrey has not been able to go where he wants to go with his life and I have certainly have done nothing with mine outside of blogging, surfing the net, watching television,watching my girlish figure.(LOL LOL LOL) etc. My fear was if I did not do this then neither of us would go anywhere nor do anything with our lives that we really wanted to do. I love to fly, Jeffrey does not, I love to go to amusement parks, Jeffrey does not, I love to have friends to hang out with, Jeffrey does not, I am a social butterfly,Jeffrey is a hermit.I am easy going and he is anal retentive, I fear very little, he has more fears than you can imagine. I take chances simply because for me life is an adventure. You win some you lose some.

I like to walk the middle ground. I can be very deep or just whacky. Jeffrey has one mood, Deep, Hell I just have to wake up and look around me and see all kinds of reasons to laugh., reasons to be thankful, reasons to love, I even see the joy in going to work. For me with love in your heart you can go anywhere and do anything. So what you got to go to work, most people do, That is how we sustain ourselves. The options always are if you don't like what you are doing then change it. If you do not have the academics to move out of where you are at then go back to school. Anyone can do this while they are at home on their personal computer. There is always a way when you really want to go for something. God gave us this amazing tool. It is up to us how we use it.....


God provided all that we could ever want or need. It is all right there right before our eyes. The thing is you must learn how to use the tools that he gives you, I am learning very well how to use those tools. We have not because we ask not, Myself personally I do not want to stagnate. I need to be in the flow of life. Things are changing all of the time and I change each day with it. Live dosen't stop just because we do. One need only to look back when we began going to school. It may not have seemed like it but each year was a new adventure in learning. We changed with every class we were ever involved in. We learned our A.B.C,s and how to count. Just a few years prior we couldn't do that. It is the same today regardless of how old we are. Each day there is something new going on for us to learn about. We can learn how to better ourselves. To achieve our dreams to not just sit back and think about them but actually get involved in making them happen. Who knows I might be a rocket scientist after all...LOL LOL LOL

God gave us the dream now what are we going to do with it? Each has one.....As for me I am going to follow it. The dream he has given me is full of life, love, peace and joy. I say yes. I am going to follow. Jeffrey has his dream and he needs to follow it.One can not nor should stand in the way of the dreams of others. If we do we become most miserable and make them most miserable. That is not love my friends...Oh yes here is something to think about. When we try to control others we truly can not live our own life. Our life will be consumed with all the angles of trying to control others thereby never living our own life. I'd rather be free. We were all born free nothing or anyone should control us. We are all intelligent people or we wouldn't be here on the net........

With that the good news is that we are leaving for Ohio at the end of the month. Jeffrey and me will take the road trip together. The bad news is when we get there I will be carrying on to Canada. My heart is pulled in two directions the one is to feel bad and delude myself again the other is to take the bull by the horns and go after it.....Hello world I am on my way back to life.......Now separation and divorce is never easy. We will both go through our trying times. We both must remember that this too shall pass and look at how we can make the best of our lives. Just maybe somewhere down the road we will meet again. Only this time if we both grow we will both be very different people. I am sure that we will both go through all of the transitions but we are not alone. We both have God who will guide and direct our steps, We have God who will give us the strength to overcome everything. We have God to trust in every moment, every step of the way. Now that is the good news....

So there you have it....I know in my heart that once I am settled again that I will be back here writing my heart out. Sharing with you all of the experiences that I am going through. I draw strength from all those that love me and I thank each one of you for your love. Do pray for Jeffrey that he will not suffer himself to much over this but find strength in the next phase of his life. He has much to much to do to not go for his dreams those things that make him happy. It just wasn't me.....

For now I will say good night. I will be back when I am able. I pray that all is well in your world. That everyone finds they key to their own happiness and goes for it......


Heart Whisperer A.K.A Beverly

Speaking from my Heart to Yours....

Embracing all of you with my love, feel the love my friends feel the love......

Your whacky friend.....


.

Talk to you soon.....................................................................................................

Hey my friends/family,.................................

I know it has been awhile and I have gone through some pretty tuff stuff these last few weeks. O.K I left you where the Minister of our Church decided not to take the garage sale items....Honestly at first I was angry although I did not share that with him. I was angry at the lack of commitment to his word, I was disappointed in his actions after the effect. He was to go golfing with my husband the next day but found an excuse not to go. We have heard nothing from the Pastor or anyone else in the Church since then.....I am not angry with them as I know in my heart that they know what they have done. The only reason people will avoid others is because they are either not interested or they have done something to offend them and can not look them in the eye. OR owe them money.........With that I will love them still knowing in my heart that I know that I know God is good. We were all taught not to lean on the arm of flesh it will fail us. It matters not what clothing or status that arm of flesh wears it is still the arm of flesh.

I will pray for them that they see the importance of helping one another.When I was a Pastor I made sure that everyone in the congregation was taken care of by one another. That is what we are called to . Love one Another. Love is an action word and action speaks louder than words. We can all say words to one another but those words often time lead many individuals into dark places. If one is not knowledgeable in the word then they can become confused, disappointed, disheartened, turned off, angry, depressed thinking that no one can be counted on not even those who claim to know the Lord or his word. There are so many repercussions to saying one thing and doing another. Everyone gets hurt in the process. One gets hurt in the immediate the other somewhere down the road of life.

Anyway just some food for thought. So Jeffrey and me got the things together and had to hold an indoor garage sale............................................................................................................ Indoor as the manager of our complex will not permit anyone to have a outside garage sale..Jeffrey made some signs, took them to the main road as well as our side road, One was on our vehicle with a big arrow pointing down the walkway. He forgot to put the address on the sign so we put a sign on the front door. The first day was a week day and we had only a few bites. Not much money was made but more than we had. We did this everyday. Our home was open to the public. There is no worse feeling than having so many people rifling through your personal things let alone every room in your house. Thank God I have patience and a great sense of humor.

Most came looking for the nickel and dime stuff. If it was more than that they would of course talk you down. Now this stuff was going pretty cheap as it was but still they were resistant to paying $1.00. We had a guy come in to buy up our jewelry. Me being anxious to sell everything thought once and the second thought was to do it. Well I brought him three pieces of expensive jewelry and he offered me $100.00. Now I might not know about a lot of things but one does not sell $28.000 worth the jewelry for a hundred dollars. I had to ask if he was on crack...LOL LOL LOL LOL

Now to remind you, I am a Canadian the great white north as they say. In my hometown where most people are passive, easy going etc we were never asked this question at a garage sale. " Hey do you guys have any fire arms and ammunition" LOL LOL LOL At first it blew my mind but after the 5th person asking it became natural. Then there were those who asked for knives and such. Let me tell you. Living here has been a real education for me. This is not Kansas anymore Dorothy.


Now we are two weeks into this and we have made $150.00. Now we did sell a few things of which I am very grateful but we are going to need a whole lot more than that. So in this past week we have questioned if maybe we should be doing this at all. Since we both believe that if we were meant to go then things would just happen.We decided to not open the doors for the past few days which gave both of us a break from the insanity. .Each day I become more peaceful with the thought that we just may have to stay here a little longer than we had thought. I have applied for a job and trusting if that door doesn't open that another one will, that will alleviate some of our financial burdens. It is not the best time to look for work here not only because of the economy but also here most hiring is done in tourist season...Once again I am trusting God to move on our behalf one way or another....

I had a laugh about this thought that other day......If Jeffrey and me were to leave today for Ohio it would look pretty much like this....



First I was ready to take the trekk in a vehicle that has no air conditioning at the moment. Don't know what is wrong with it just know we don't have it. LOL LOL LOL The mechanics of a car is not my area of expertise...Girly I know but I also still don't pump gas..Jeffrey and me have endured many arguments over the past few months. At times so bad I thought that it was definitely over. Yet each day we awaken more determined to do this together come hell or high water. We can do all things though Christ who strengthens us. Our God will not fail us.

Since last being here I have deleted other accounts as I just couldn't keep up with them anymore. I have posted at facebook but soon found myself losing interest in that as well. That said I have been reconciled with a few family members and friends I have not talked to in a long time. For that reason I go there. As for posting as I do here I have pretty much given it up.I continue to surf the net looking for interesting things to enlighten me. The one thing that keeps me going is my constant seeking. I am not seeking all of the answers to life. I am just looking around to see what others have learned along the path of life. I read much more these day on the net. On the net is where I can explore this world and the world of others. I can take a lot of good from all the places that I go....

I am beginning to feel that when we do settle wherever that is that I should pursue a career in research.I have been so many places on the net that I could start my own business...Trust me there is very little that I have not looked into. After all life is all about learning.My Dad told me years ago never to let my mind stagnate nor become rigid as it would cause a certain death to my mind, my life and my imagination. He then exposed me to many that did nothing with there minds. They only needed to wake up every day and repeat what they did the day before. There was not interest in growing or doing something different. It was if they got a certain amount of knowledge and just stopped..I never wanted to be them. Life is an adventure and certainly I am on it.

Ever since my childhood I have been the curious one. Has it got me into trouble? More than you know but it was all worth it. I love to get up everyday to the adventure of living. There is so much to do in this vast Universe. So much to see, people to meet etc. It is a wonderful place to be in when you live your own life and have no judgments to cast on anyone. It is a wonderful life when you live with love in your heart and you carry no bitterness of the past. It is an outstanding life when you live in a Spirit of forgiveness. It is liberating. When you get to that place where within seconds you are praying for your enemies or praying for Universal Enlightenment to the God of Love...Bottom line is what we all need more than anything else in this world is love.

I pray that all of my days that I see the world through those eyes of love. That I do the best that I can for all that cross my path.To live my life with dignity, to keep my word, to live an honest decent life, to do my best to never cause a little one to lose their faith. At the end of my life when all is said and done I will know in my heart that I had done my best.It really won't matter what I believe in at that point. I have followed my own heart of goodness and I am at peace with that.I can only pray that everyone will leave this world with peace of mind. I have seen to many who at time of departure have a very unpleasant journey.

For now we are still here and taking it one day at a time. Trust God and wait. His plans for us are greater than any plan we could come up with. We are being still and knowing that we are looking to him and only him for direction. Wherever he leads we will follow.. Now there is an adventure....

With that I will say good night. I pray that all have a wonderful funtastic weekend. Be safe whatever you do and wherever you go. There is someone who loves you and would be terribly lost without you..........

God Bless you Journey wherever it leads you....

Heart Whisperer...Speaking Gently from my Heart to Yours....





LOVE TO ALL.......
.........

First let me address a special person who has commented on my posts. I am so honored that my writing has made some feel like they are right here at home with me. I welcome each and everyone to come into my dining room and sip a beverage of your choice while I share a story with you....Thank Jaqueline for your comment. I am blessed indeed that my sharing makes you feel right at home...




The past few days I have been reading blogs from facebook as well as the net. Of course this is nothing unusual for me as I love to read what is going on the world of seekers and thinkers. After the latest events in our lives I have found myself at peace once again. Many may think, how can she do that with so much going on her life? To be honest with you I would never have become anxious if I or my husband had depended on God and us alone in the first place. My husband being very young with his experiences with those in the Church has caused us much grief, I know from experience that you can not depend on those in Church buildings but one can depend on those who know the Lord. Think not bad of me for what I am saying. It has been proven over and over again to millions worldwide so it should not come as a surprise to anyone.

Anyway since the event I have been doing as I have always done. As the picture above reveals a child sitting on the steps this is what I have done all of my life. Sit on the front steps of any home that I was living in and watching the neighbors. As far back as I can remember I would sit quietly on the front step and watch as the neighborhood did their daily activities. It was always a mystery to me why they had to be involved in so many things. The normal activities of course I understood, Once the kids were fed they were put outside to play. Now it is not that I didn't like to play but I did not see the sense in a lot of the things that the other kids were doing.

The games that they were playing almost always ended up in an argument, jealousies, hurting one another etc. I just didn't get it. I would rather sit alone on the front step than to get involved. Then there were the adults. Now you would think that this would be a different story, NOT. After the men would go off to work the women would gather together to talk about the neighbors who were not in their cliche. Then when the Dads came home the women would tell the husbands everything that was going on with the other women in the neighborhood. I learned that any woman should wise up to this kind of sharing very early simply because when my mother would tell my Dad about certain women in the neighborhood it would peak his interest to want to know more. Especially if the woman being talked about was loose. LOL LOL LOL Rather dumb on the part of the woman don't you think.

Men by nature will have their head turned when they hear about a loose woman in the area. While all the women were gossiping about them all of their husbands were checking them out. Self defeating don't you think! So here I am 50 years later doing the same thing. Sitting back and reading what all the others have to say. I wonder just when people will get it? I read about all kinds of religions bashing other religions, spiritual organizations being critical of other organizations. I am all about Loving one another but I am not a follower of any one particular movement. I have believed only one thing all of my life and that has been my own spiritual connection. Right or wrong it is the only thing that has been faithful to me. I believe it to be God but then many would love to argue with me about that. LOL LOL LOL Not that I would care for I know in my heart where I am at and there is no argument. Again I will see their lips moving but I usually don't hear a word they are saying.

After these past few days I feel that many are seeking knowledge from others who appear to be more advanced in their knowledge of spiritual matters. Here is the thing. One must seek their own spiritual awakening and trust it. I do not seek the opinions of others simply because there are far to many of them. One can easily become confused with all of the data being presented. There is some good in all that I read but ultimately I believe what was born in my heart as a child. As I read the word of God it tells me that his word is written on my heart and so it is. Why then would I seek others for understanding.? The word also tells me that the Holy Spirit imparts all wisdom unto me therefore I don't really feel the need to see it from any other source. Oh yes I will continue to read the insights imparted to others again ultimately I will believe only what the Spirit reveals to me in my quietest moments.

Tonight I took some time out for myself which I have not done in a very long time. I filled the tub with water, turned on some good tunes and let myself drift away. Something like this..............................................................................My God it had been so long I totally forgot what it was like not to think. As I lay there in the hot water I repeated over and over again. Empty my mind, Empty my mind until I was completely empty of all thought and emotion. Ah at last a clear mind.

I was not thinking about the problems of the world, the problems of my family or friends.Not thinking about religions, spiritual beliefs because honestly I just don't care. I just was. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh How refreshing as I drifted off into never, never land where I could recapture my dreams. I wanted to share this with everyone in the hopes that those of you who read this take some time out for you. Put aside what the world thinks. what religions, spiritualists or any other sect thinks and just let yourself be. Empty yourself of all those thoughts that continue to keep you bound to this earthly realm. The word of God tell us that we are in this world but not of this world. As long as we are so wrapped up in the things of this world we will never understand what God is talking about.

Some might think what a lonely life ? You have got to be kidding me. As much of an outsider as I feel that I have always been I have always been a part of other peoples worlds all of my life. I just want to live my life in my world. It seems every time I escape from the mental,emotional, spiritual worlds of others they pull me back in. I am not particularly happy about it as their worlds are all consumed with finding an answer to something that needs no answer. We are born live a certain amount of years and then die to this realm. As far as I can see it is up to each of us to occupy that time as fruitfully as possible. If you are living your life with a philosophy to do no harm then what is the great mystery?

In my world there is no strife simply because I do not want any. I wake up do the best that I can for all that cross my path, bring joy where I can, feed the hungry when I can, bandage a wound when I can. The difference is in the knowing. One of the reasons I love the prayer..

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Just a thought......Do what you can and leave the rest up to God.....

Now I am off to dream of that place where I am most at home......

Take the time to separate yourself from what the rest of the world thinks. Let your mind go, empty it of all thought and allow the Spirit of Love speak to your heart.

God Bless

Love and Hugz

Beverly...Gently Speaking from my Heart to Yours....

Have a wonderfully funtastic weekend. Be safe whatever you do and wherever you go. There is someone who loves you and would feel terribly lost without you...

Good Afternoon or Evening my Friends.


As the title say's POOP HAPPENS,

For the past three days I have been packing ..................Trust me I did not look this good...LOL LOL LOL LOL

In these past few days I have been frantically putting together all things considered garage sale material for our Church to purchase. The Pastor and my husband had talked about this a few weeks ago and it was agreed that the Church would purchase all garage sale items and give us a lump sum. Now not to bad mouth the Pastor but what we got was a " not going to happen". After turning our home upside down and inside out with boxes everywhere the call came today.

Unfortunately he did not discuss with me or those purchasers the amount that would be available for a garage sale. After many days of tearing our home apart I had collected more than $1,500 or more in items. When he called today he was shocked. With that came " I am sorry Beverly but the Church will not be able to purchase your things". Now when I tell you that our home was in chaos that is an understatement. Boxes everywhere and no where to move.

Starting last night I was able to organize things to make it possible for those who were picking the items up easy. Oh I worked my tail off. Again when I awakened today I wasted no time getting things prepared. Funny things was I had this incredible peace about me. A peace that I have not known for weeks. My mind was blank regarding time and events all I could think of was getting things organized. Before the call had come in there was a knowing in myself that this was going to happen and I had already accepted it.

The Pastor apologized and my response was ' not to worry we will find a way". Never one to give up or give in I just know in my heart that with determination and a true desire to make this happen it will happen. I am not saying that I am all that happy about it as this will create more work that I really did not want to do...LOL LOL LOL

If this would have happened a few days ago I know that I would have blown a gasket.................................................. but thankfully I had been prepared by the Spirit.


After days of fighting with my husband and not in a nice way I was calm. I know that all things work together for the good to those who Love the Lord and one thing that I do know for sure is that both of us Love the Lord. This is just another .........and learn from it we shall do.

Thank God that my husband had already spoken to the manager of our complex when he paid the rent and mentioned to her that we may need to stay another month. So it appears that we will be staying here in the State of Florida for another month. In one way I am glad as I have met a wonderful Sister through this and will be more than happy to spend some time with her and her family. Already good has come of this nonsense.

Not only having the time to spend with my Sister but also many things got done that I have been unable to do for a very long time. Our home is more organized today than it has been in years. I walk through our apt and I like what I see. That has not happened in so long I forgot what it was like to actually like the place where I was living. Along with our home being organized my thoughts are more organized and I do not feel as if we are in the middle of chaos.

Where I have had no peace, little faith not to mention little hope in the past month some how I awakened today with my faith in tact. Now that is a miracle in itself. When I look back over these past few weeks I am not sure how both my husband and me have survived all of the attacks that we have poured out on one another. Honestly they have been so bad I was sure that we were headed for Divorce. It has been so bad I could not see any forgiveness for either of us towards one another let alone continue to live together.

It is time for both of us to get a grip and do what we need to do and git-r-done and that is exactly what we are going to do. I am determined not to permit anything or anyone get in our way. We have but one thing to do and that is to sell our things and move on. We both need to put all of our focus and effort on this one thing and make it happen. Of course we will be trusting God for the outcome but we must do the legwork to get it done.

They say that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I am here to tell you that this is true. I didn't think that I was going to pull through this emotionally, mentally or physically but here I am to share with you today that indeed this experience has made me stronger. Stronger in my determination. Now many of you do not know me very well but when I have made my mind up to do something let me tell you it gets done.

I don't know how the rest of the world copes I only know this, in myself I was failing miserably. Once I turned it all over to God the entire scenario changed along with my attitude. I am not hanging unto the anxiety anymore. I have been through so much in my life I wondered why would I even doubt for one second that my Father would not get us through this.

I share this with everyone who is going through a struggle to let go and let God. I have preached this more than you know. I fell victim to fear and fear was driving me crazy, I have not time for crazy. If my husband and myself have been granted another day then we make a choice. We can either see the solution or dwell in fear where there are no solutions. I have always maintained that there is a solution for every problem and this problem is no different than any other. It is all in how we perceive it.

I see the positive and go for it. Those who succeed in life never give up. With that knowledge what is there to give up to. Defeat ! Say it aint so.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you feel like life has given you lemons then make some lemonade ...............................................

Once again, Onward and Upward. There is no defeat when you have the right attitude and a Loving God who is with you working behind the scenes making it happen for you.....One need only to trust and believe.

Have a Wonderful Night

God Bless

Be kind to all those that you meet and kinder to all those that you say you Love..

Beverly Speaking Gently from my Heart to Yours

Oh how I wish that I was the perfect Saint. ........................................You know the saint that believes with their whole heart all of the time, The one who is always confessing prosperity, love, good health etc. You know the ones who are so positive that they spread their energy around the globe...Oh to be them....


Oh was that sarcastic ? I didn't mean it to be, I apologize if my words offended anyone. I am not a person to confess anything but good things 95 percent of the time. Then there comes a trial that feels like a tsunami................................................. throwing me around like a rag doll then pulling me under and doing it's best to pull me out to sea......Thank God I can swim..LOL LOL LOL LOL

Anyway today upon awakening did the stretch thing went to go into the kitchen to make morning coffee and was face with an eviction notice. I nonchalantly picked it up and read while heading to the coffee pot.I didn't get excited I was calm and peaceful. I made my coffee did my thing came back to get a fresh cup of java then came straight to the computer. I saw no reason to get upset so I checked my emails to see what was up on the sites that I am part of a big family. I opened my email and found that some had commented on my post from last night and truly it brought a smile to my face. To think that my life is an inspiration to others is overwhelming.


I went from site to site only to find that others were taking the good from my efforts. While doing this I totally forgot all about the notice. My husband got and suddenly it popped right back into my mind. Before the man could say a word I ask should I be worried as it was him who brought the notice home. He said no but I felt that we had to investigate our rights as tenants, So for the next few hours that is exactly what we did. We contacted the government office to see just exactly what the owners of the complex could do. We both felt the blow for sure. Not only do we need to be out of here at the end of the month, we still have not sold a thing. Now we are being threatened by the manager. Jeffrey made a few phone calls we had some breakfast and decided that we needed to talk to the manager...

Before I tell you the about the conversation let me tell you that this woman is not the nicest woman in this Universe. She has been jilted a few times and is a very bitter woman who has a loathing for men. The main reason I went to the office with Jeffrey. If he had gone alone she would have been all over him but because I was there the conversation did not get out of hand. Of course we prayed before we left and I am sure that God had something to do with it. So we have this conversation with her and she tells us that she has the right to evict us as we have broken our lease. I tried to explain to her that we needed to go home to take care of Jeffrey's parents. Her response was, I don't care and she went off.

At that point I entered into the conversation with let us work this situation out amicably so that all can leave this relationship on a good note. She responded with that is not likely to happen. With that we told her that we would get back to her, It was really kind of funny as I could hear her sigh of yeah right......Deep down I did laugh....Not that it was funny but I know that our God will not fail us no matter what she likes or dislikes..We came back to the apt and did some more investigating and found out that there is much more that we can do than we thought. With a sigh of relief we let it go......

A short time after this a neighbor came over to visit and shared in our story. He is a former tough cop from Chicago. He gets all bent out of shape and tells us just to move and forget about it. Once again I sit back and smile to myself for we know that is not the right way to go. He rambled and ranted for about an hour then left. Once he left Jeffrey and myself went about our business. Soon after he comes back with a friend of his who wants to look around to see what he would like to buy. He is a buyer for a woman locally that buys cheap and sells pricey. So he looks around and see's my pictures and tells me that she would be interested in them. I gave him a price and they went on their way.

When the door closed I looked over at this one particular picture that has been with me for years. It is a very delicate picture of a woman resting on a settee. From the moment I saw this picture I fell in love with it. As I was looking at it a sadness came over me and I began to cry. Jeffrey came over to comfort me but deep down inside I was hurting as I felt for one brief moment that my life is passing right before my eyes. As the tears rolled down my cheek I knew I had to let them go. This was an attachment along with all the other things I feel that the Lord is trying to rid the both of us of. I have sold or given much away in my life so this is nothing new to me but this letting it all go is a whole new ball game.


It's not like I have a choice. We need the money to get to where we are going. As Jeffrey was comforting me I told him it was O.K that is nothing more than a thing, material things can be replaced and next time I will choose something more suited to my personality and character now. Those pictures really do represent another time in my life and it is time for them to go.....So I grieved for a few moments and let it go.........Went back to my laptop thinking how lucky I am to have this computer....A few more emails to read then play a little solitaire to kill some time before Jeffrey goes to work....


Jeffrey leaves and I come back to the computer and think to myself what can I share with everyone today. Well my earlier post I had written yesterday so I felt led of the Spirit to share that with everyone.After posting at all the sites I feel I need to eat a little something, I head towards the kitchen and felt a difference in the movement of air in the apt. I looked over to our fan which is so old you could not believe and she had taken a rest...My first thought was what else can happen ? I took off the guard and tried to spin the blades and she would give a little twirl but she would conk out on me. I did this a few times to no avail she just would not work for me. Thinking that there was more to this than the eye could see I felt the back of the fan and she was hot. Then I knew that the old girl was overworked and was ready to burn out. Sounds just like us doesn't it ?


I shut her down to let her cool off and have not yet tried to start her up again.LOL LOL LOL Want to give her enough time to just relax as she has been working 24/7 for many months now.........Now I have had something to eat and watch a little tv. My mind would wander and I felt a twinge of fear. O.M G. what are we going to do. All the what if's were attacking me. This lasted a short time as I took a page from my own book and began to repeat God;'s promises to us. I claimed the peace that passes all understanding and I got it. I surrendered all thoughts of fear, all feelings of anxiety, all doubt. My God shall supply my need according to his riches in Glory by Christ Jesus. My God will never fail me. My God will not see his seed begging for bread, My God will never leave me nor forsake me.No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I was flooding the flood.

The word tells me to say to that mountain be thou removed so I told that mountain that it had to go......LOL LOL LOL All in Jesus Name of Course.I am still basking in the knowledge that I need only to be still and let God.. I am sharing this with you to let you know that we all go through this. We all have pangs of fear, doubt, anxiety etc. The important thing to know is don't let it take root. Do not permit yourself to fall deep into the trap. As soon as you can start claiming the promises of God and before you know it you will feel like you are walking on water again.....Why ? Because we can do all things though Christ who strengthens us that's why.

To be honest with all of you I truly feel that this is a cleansing for both of us. Both of need to let go and start fresh. Both letting go of what was and step into that place where all we have we have attained on our own. It brings a whole new perspective to our relationship. We will need to work harder to achieve our goals but I really believe with all of my heart we will be better people for it. I feel like a pilgrim on a new journey. Pack up the wagons dear and saddle the horse we are going on an adventure.................................................LOL LOL LOL LOL


The best part of my experience these past few days is sharing with all of you that regardless of our struggles God is with us. There is a reason for everything. I knew deep down in my heart those things that I was hanging unto. I need to let them go. I am not to sure my husband is convinced yet, but I am......I feel at peace with it all. Whatever is in store for us I am going to stand.

I am off to bed to dream beautiful dreams and let the Spirit guide and direct my steps.............

I love you my friends. I thank each and everyone of you for listening to me, for taking the time to read my posts and comment. I especially love that fact that what I share inspires you...............On the Solid Rock I Stand..

Good Night and God Bless

Love and Hugz

Beverly ( Speaking Gently from my Heart to Yours)

May the light of God's love surround you, awaken you and lift you to newer heights than you have ever been before....





I most likely will not be posting for a few days so be chill and know that God has got it covered no matter what it is....

Let us take the next step on my phenomenal journey.

Father open the ears to hear and the eyes to see what your Spirit is saying in Jesus Name I Pray............Amen


The Strength of the Spirit,

First I am going to share with you my gestation during my Mother's pregnancy. I am sharing this as it is so important for every mother to know this.This is information I became aware of later in my life after having two pregnancies of my own. This is not something I am very proud of as I was just as ignorant as many others. My mother became pregnant with me 3 short months after giving birth to my brother. From the information that I have gathered when she gave birth to him she had an emotional and mental break down. Apparently she was so bad that she lost her mind temporarily. She did not know who she was, where she was and why they kept giving her this baby. From her account she shared that she was in the hospital for 6 weeks with the baby until they got her stabilized. That in itself was a great feat for this was in 1950. Before she had time to recover fully from that episode in her life she was pregnant again.

Mom had given birth to 3 boys and her hearts desire was to have a little girl. That said my Mother was not an educated woman. If I recall correctly she never made it to 6th grade. She was not an intellect by any stroke of the imagination. Not to say bad things about her for I do love her with all of my heart but sharing with you the time, era and circumstances in her time. My Mother was a victim of her Dad, Her life consisted of a brutal Father and like herself an uneducated Mother. She had one sister that was born and diagnosed as mentally challenged of which she cared for. She was a very caring person who wanted to protect her sister from the same abuse that she was enduring.

When she entered into her teens she rebelled. She got herself involved with a young man and became pregnant. Of course back then this was considered a crime. She was charged with contributing to a juvenile and put into a girls juvenile detention center where she stayed until she gave birth. Her first birthing experience almost killed her. She was 90 lbs at the time of conception and became 195 lbs during the pregnancy.She had been separated from any of her friends and family while there. When the time came to give birth this tiny little woman was taken to the detention center sick room where she gave birth to a 10 lb 8 oz boy. No anesthetic, no before birthing classes. She was on her own with others who had absolutely no compassion for her for ,as far as others were concerned she had been labeled a slut,whore and not worth the compassionate effort. I can only imagine what she must have gone through.

She had become bitter and angry which I suppose many would had they too gone through what she had gone through. She came home from the detention center with new baby in arms back to her family home. Her Dad beat her constantly berating her mentally and emotional being with all the words that one uses on a woman who had sex before marriage. Her Mother on the other hand did the best she could to help her daughter. My Grandmother would take care of the baby so that my Mother could go out to do her thing. Well unfortunately for my Mother at that time her thing brought her more trouble than she could have imagined. Being bitter about her experience she went to the local bars and made out with anyone and everyone. Before long she became pregnant again this time not knowing who the Father was. This time she was not jailed for she was of legal age and there was nothing that they could do about it.

During her early months of pregnancy she continued to go to the bar to party. She wasn't showing yet so her wheels were set in motion to find someone to make out with so that she could put the burden of this pregnancy on him. Lo and behold along comes a 16 year old young man who fell head over heels for her. This young man rebelling against his parents saw her and wanted her. They got together and within a month she told him that she was pregnant with his baby. My Dad afraid that he would be arrested did the only thing that he thought would save him from a boys detention center. He married her.....It wasn't until he married her that he found out that he was not the Father of her child but that she also had another child living with her parents. So now you have a 16 year old boy and an 18 year old young woman caught in a trap of their own making.

The baby was born and no one was the wiser of it's true Father but then again neither were my parents. My Mother decided not to have anymore children after this birth but my Dad wanted one of his own. She could not deny him this as she felt that if she did not give him a child she would never be able to hold unto him. This she became pregnant with her third son and a year later pregnant with me.

During my Mothers pregnancy she smoked. drank alcohol, ate a ton of chocolate and lived on pepsi cola. Not really nourishing for the gestational infant. Anyway surviving her ignorance I was born 3 pm according the her on a Wednesday weighing in at a little under 5lbs. By all standards I appeared healthy but that was soon to change. I have no recall of the first few years but I do recall around the age of four suffering from terrible headaches. Headaches that would make me so sick I could not move my head. I would cry but when I did my head would hurt even more so I would lay in a dark room with a cold cloth over my forehead and eyes and remain as quiet as possible . Shortly after that I was taken to the Doctor for tests to see what might be going on. They did some tests but could not find what was wrong with me. During those few years I was being molested by my Dad, ignored by my Mother who wanted nothing to do with me and teased mercilessly by my brothers. This was all before while in Kindergarten.

By the age of 5, I developed nose bleeds. Again a trip to the Doctors for if I even bowed my head immediately my nose would start to bleed. This went on for a few years until I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Now some of you have read that story in God's Cafe. If you would like to know in depth the story then please go to God's Cafe and read (Just one of Many Miracles) it will explain in detail that time of my life. During that time I was unable to participate in anything simply because I was to fragile. Now in my body although it was sick and weak my mind was strong. My spirit was strong even though my body was failing me. Not understanding the totality of what I was going through and the inability to articulate it I was alone inside myself.

When I look back on the time I see this little girl in a world of craziness. My Dad who I knew loved me but had this other side of him who abused me. My Mother who to her I was nothing more than a burden and my two brothers who wanted me gone for I was taking up the time of my parents, My older brother resented me more than my younger brother, So here I was bedridden being molested by Dad, hated by Mom. resented by my brothers, molested by a babysitter and this was only a small portion of what I was enduring. There were none that thought that I would survive but within a year of the diagnosis I went into remission. How did that happen ? In 1956-57 there was little known about the disease nor was their any hope of survival. .

I can't explain it , all I know is that this body was not healed by any medication but it was healed by the Spirit within. I had nothing to do with it. All I could do was sleep and eat when I could and the Spirit did the rest. The Doctor's called it a miracle. To this day I can not explain everything that occurred during that time. I only know that I was sick unto death and raised up from it. Being that no Doctor, family member could help me there had to be only one answer. God. I don't know why but God has been my constant throughout my life of extreme traumatic events. At this stage of my life I often say that it all happened so that I would know later in life that the only source that healed me. delivered me, kept me sane in an insane time was the very one that created me. I can honestly say that all that I have gone through I can glorify God for all had it's purpose to bring me to where I am today.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life if I choose can be used to assist others. I have never been under any pressure to share my life with anyone. It is a choice that I freely have made in the hopes that those who have not awakened to the Spirit will be awakened. Trust me it is not an easy door to open in our minds as we only live by what we know in this flesh. This flesh and our five senses keep us locked behind this door. If but one person reading my posts opens their heart to the Spirit then everything I share is well worth it. To date I have witnessed many who have been set free from the bondage of life without the knowledge of the Spirit. My prayer is that every day of my life be used as an instrument of that very love that has brought me through every trial and tribulation.

Regardless of what you have gone through or are going through God knows. There are none of us that are alone. Even if we do not acknowledge the Spirit working on our behalf there will come a time that something will happen to open that door. When it does you too will understand that everything that you have gone through was for a purpose. Those unanswered questions will be revealed a bit at a time until you get the whole story. It is a process of which I will not say is an easy one but it sure is a journey you will never forget. We never really forget our past but we do learn why it happened and how we can use it. Not everyone will do as I am doing as not everyone is called to this type of Ministry.

God never impressed upon me that I had to do anything with the things that I had learned. It was my compassion for all others that has been my driving force to tell the world my story in the hopes that everyone would be set free from not only their past but from Spiritual bondage as well as Spiritual ignorance.

The story will continue to unfold as I feel led to share. I must tell you up front that I will be writing a book regarding my life experiences in the near future which will have much more detailed information. Due to time and the fact that we are only allowed so many words per post I have condensed or left out some very pertinent information. That information will be in the book. Don' t underestimate my experience for what I am sharing here is just a shaving off of the iceberg. If I who suffered so greatly can not only survive but overcome all these things I know in my heart that many others will too..

For not have a wonderful night. Open the door to your heart to receive all the Love that awaits for you in the arms of the one who created you. Once you do your life will never be the same...


God Bless

Love and Hugz

Beverly ( Speaking Gently from my Heart to Yours )

Hello my friends.

Well things have been hectic for us for the past few weeks. Trust me when I say that my faith has been tested over and over again. I can honestly tell you that I have failed a few times as I totally lost my cool with all that is going on. Having to sell and relocate within 30 days is a challenge. First we must sell everything we own to finance the relocation. We also must make enough money to rent an apt before we arrive so that we are not a burden on anyone. To date we have sold nothing. Our Apt has been more than a mess. My husband works nights and has not had the time to help me and when he has had the time to physically help me he was on the computer looking for work. I get that but when you have applied to 300 jobs one needs to let it go and trust God.......I know that he will get a job as soon as we get there . That is his personality he is a go getter. Also when ones ego is not in the way they can work anywhere. Since we have no time for pride and ego we must do what we must do.......I have said Sh*t more than once as we both transition....LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL


My life here in Florida has been one of the worst experiences in my life along with it being a great teacher to me. I have learned so much living here, First of all I have not ever really lived without whatever I wanted in my life. Oh I may have had to wait a bit to get those things but I assure you that once I had my mind set on something I got it. I am still just as determined today as I was at the age of 4. When I wanting something I got it. I am not saying that I used force or was trying to take advantage of people but being the gifted child that I was I always would find a way. At the age of 11( I think) LOL I saw a purse in a store window down the street from our apt and went home to ask my Dad if he would buy it for me. He could see in my eyes that I was out of it with excitement and I wanted that purse real bad.

He and my mother were laying on the bed and I ask again. Dad will you, will you. cmon Dad it' s not much money. Please Dad as he just watched me beg and plead for it. His eyes were soft and I thought I had him. He looked at me and said I will make you a deal. When he told me the deal I was off and running. I had to earn half of the money for the purse and then he would pay the other half. The next hour I was a lemonade salesgirl...LOL LOL LOL LOL Within Hours I had made my half of the money .......I have been like that my whole life. I am an easy going person who see's the opportunities in life.


After all of the abuse and insanity that I lived with and through one would think that I would never have a good attitude. There were a few years where I was very hurt and angry but those days are gone. I love my family with all of my heart. What happened then was then. I was not always the shiniest apple on the tree so who am I to point fingers.....Mind you it took me to go out on my own and make my own mistakes before I was able to see that I was no better than they were. The thing that I never wanted to become I became. I had become just like my Mother, Dad, Brothers and others that I had met along the path of life. Once innocent of being and doing the things that everyone else did, I did myself. I did things after I started smoking pot that I would have never done prior.

God knows my mistakes and thank God he Loves me unconditionally. I am still that same person today I just cleaned up my act , I have days when I have to control my temper. I don't always succeed but I know it is one of my weaknesses.Jealousy was also a weakness that thank God is gone. I had so many issues that not even the shrinks wanted to talk to me. As a matter of fact when I did seek out a therapist she sent me to someone else because she couldn't handle it.........I was thinking what the h*ll. This woman had her P.H.D and couldn't handle my personal experiences. I thought as I was leaving her office, what a nice life she must have had.........

Anyway I got way off of the topic.......I can't wait to leave here. After 9 and a half years of doing nothing but sitting in our apt alone, or going to work coming home getting up the next day going to work coming home. On my days off I had to work cleaning house, doing laundry, cooking etc. Now don't get me wrong I am only one amongst millions of women who do this everyday. Why it got to me was I had no life. Before moving here I owned my own car, had everything a woman could ask for less a man. I was working at my own pace doing my own thing as I had my own practice working with those who were passing over. Life was good. I traveled, went to parties and mingled with the best of them. was just getting my stride when I met my Husband.

My Husband was living with a woman when I met him. This woman and I became good friends and through that friendship I met him. Before I had met him I was told all kinds of things about him and none of it good. Well maybe a little. I was with my fiance for a one week vacation when I met them both. .Well we all met for dinner one night and when his eyes met mine I couldn't think. I went blank. He was not at all what I had imagined. He was smart, street savvy, he was aware spiritually, he was handsome with a good personality coupled with a great sense of humor. He was well versed in many things and I was impressed. We ordered dinner and he began to ask my fiance questions of which he could not answer. I was thinking oh my God my fiance can not even answer the questions about his own beliefs. If you are wondering my fiance then claimed that he was a Buddhist but when asked questions that were deep he couldn't answer them. I had assumed he knew. Well you know the old story never assume for it makes an ass out of me and out of you. Well at that moment I felt like an ass...


Long story short my friend my Husbands live in called me one day to ask for help she needed to leave and get her own place and ask if she could borrow money. Well before I left Florida she and I had talked about this and I did tell her that I would help if she needed it. So without hesitation I wired her the money then felt bad as my Husband was also my friend and I did not know if he wanted her to leave. Oh my what a situation I had got myself into..LOL LOL LOL LOL


She went out on her own and kept in touch with me. During that time I knew that I had to leave my relationship due to the many lies that I had been told. Once I got all of the truth I packed up and left. Jeffrey who is my husband was still in contact with his ex and she told him that I had left my relationship and gave him my phone number. We talked on the phone 3 to 4 times a day we couldn't get enough of one another. Before long I found myself packing some things and coming to Florida to see if we really had something happening. Well I'm married guess that say's it all..

So now I move from passive Canada to a country that is full of anger.Now I am not saying that Canada hasn't got it issues because it does but really most Canadians are a passive people...I once again in my life did more watching and listening so I could understand this culture that I was living in.. Got to tell you it hasn't been easy..Having my own business in Canada was a cake walk. Now with the lifestyle that I had married into demanded that I go to work. I thought well let's see where can I go that is an easy job, make the money and still have a good time with life. I didn't want to live to work only. Surprise that was all I did. Work, work, work.......I learned so much about a lifestyle that I never had to live before. I wouldn't recommend it to my friends as not all of my friends back home would be able to handle it.......

I have learned to live with loneliness, enough money to get by, living from paycheck to paycheck, going without many times. I have learned that I don't need most of the stuff that I once had. I learned that there are more important things in life besides stuff. I have learned that when you love someone you do your best to not add stress to an already stressful situation. I have learned that I am a great salesperson with a great personality. I have learned that I can do anything if I really try. I have been heart broken, felt like I had been kicked to the curb, here without a friend, without a phone, without a car, living in a mobile home that was falling apart. it had no air conditioning for the summer months and no heat for the winter months. The unbearable heat here is intolerable on a good day but yet I got through it and honestly I was pretty happy.

I learned in those first three years to be so much more than I ever thought I could be and do so much more than I ever thought I could do.. I became a book worm and spent most of my time at the library studying everything that ever fascinated me. It was there that I learned to use the computer. Why at first I had no idea how to create an email but look at me now...Still a lot to learn about this amazing tool and that shall come as I venture into this next phase of my life.....As a matter of face I have already spoken to someone in Ohio that is going to help me get into computer classes....I know that I will need to go to work and I am good with that. I look forward to it actually as I have been basically by myself for the past three years. It has been me, God and the computer which kept me going. I do love my computer it has been my best friend for a long time.


Funny how the computer can be your best friend. This amazing tool connects us with people all over the world. I am ecstatic being a part of this generation and for having my eyes opened to a whole new world. My goal is to open my own office once established. It will be a healing center where people can enter in and let go of all that burdens them. I have so many visions of it that it staggers the mind. The office is in a pale blue with almost water like colors. There will be music playing, a medium size round water fountain in the middle of the room with some gold fish in it....Soft lighting with some hi tech furniture. Minimal furniture but hi tech....This will be a place of rest for many.........I will trust God for the totality of this vision as I continue to follow his direction.....


I have been sharing on facebook this last week and my experience there is phenomenal. I am meeting some of the most wonderful people there. If you are looking to connect with some good people to become friends with I would strongly suggest you visit there and take a look for yourself. Since I love great mental food I feed there daily........While there earlier tonight I stopped into a group that I had joined and saw a video. That was the original reason that I came here tonight was to share that with you but I felt in my heart that many would not view the video without me writing to entice you and I am enticing you to take 5 minutes of your time to watch the video. My heart was touched by it and I know that yours will be too.....

Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my life. I hope that I will do more of this rambling truly for this is who I am. I am not perfect I struggle just like everybody else. I fall down and get back up as every person does.

I chose this video because it is all about forgiveness. I for one have forgiven every one that I feel has hurt me, done me wrong or whatever simply because I do not want my life to be full of ugliness. When one does not forgive they put themselves in chains and for one would rather be free from any chains that would prevent me from living a full adventurous life.....

With that I will say good night and God Bless I hope to be here a few more times before we move but time will tell. If I am not back soon know that I will be missing you and thinking of you. Praying that all find the path of enlightenment.

Here is the link....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erqJF_ppqbk

Have a wonderful night..

Love and Hugz

Beverly---Gently Speaking from my Heart to Yours...