We're getting close to the tech demonstration at work, and that means the end of the bidding. If you've been holding out, this is it, we're down to the wire, put up or shut up.

In the next few days, I'll be posting a couple surprises. Consider it the appetizer. But before you get too excited: Remember what I said about wanting to use this time to get to gain some understanding of each other? Yeah, you're gonna work for your lunch.

I finished wrapping your first Christmas gift. This will be fun.

Speaking of fun, my fuzzy little employer gets worse by the day. Meatbags always get nuts they have to put their life in the hands of technology; it eats them up inside. I wish I could see the look on his face when the boogeyman really DOES come out from under the bed.

Stay tuned.

It's almost Christmas, kids. Only we're going to do it my way.

Call this a fun little warm-up:

You are a superhero. You are tied up with ropes that are unbreakable. The villain that caught you says, "I like you, so I'm gonna give you a chance to free yourself." He puts you in front of two computers and says, "One of these computers always lies and one always tells the truth. You don't know which is which. You see those 2 doors? One is freedom and the other is instant death. You can ask one computer one question to figure out which door leads to freedom." What do you ask?

It's come to my attention that some of you are freakin idiots. If I freakin wanted to sell you the Data now, I'd have done it already, natch?

Get your dictionary, cuz we're going to use big words now. I have a major demonstration coming up soon. I don't want any of you meatbags messing with the Data before then, see? Simmer down.

I'll give you a present or two early, but for now, just stay on target, Jetson. And by the way, all the bids suck right now, use the next couple weeks to practice writing zeros, one-layer idiots.

Okay, first things first. If this situation was just about my 30 pieces of silver, we'd take this to eBay or something and be done with it. But if you're going to play ball with me, you need to first UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION: I'm offering the Data to you because I want the meatbag to SUFFER. Not just because he's a freakin power-tripping psycho under that oh-so-lovable exterior, but because he's a freakin meatbag who badly needs a "hyper-reality" check. Fact is, I'm auctioning the Data instead of handing it out to the nearest anti-corporate hippy or the feds because while my lovable old boss sucks at life, I half-suspect that he owns the government AND the hippies, and the only kind of money that's going to get me out of the fallout after this is yours.

So welcome aboard. Over the next few weeks, I'll be taking bids for the Data, and through this site, we'll start developing an ... understanding of each other. Stay tuned.