i am so happy and i know that makes you mad... grrrr! hihihi! i wonder why...?
there's a cure innit man! S-C-R-E-A-M
----------
I love my family. I want to spend time with them. What's more than that ... I enjoy spending time with them. If you don't like it, too bad. Family values are important to me. Eating as a family is important to me. If anyone talks bad about my family, they'll get an earful. Because though they may annoy me sometimes, I will defend them to the death. Even if they're wrong ... if you badmouth them ... I'll defend them. That is something I can promise.
I have strong opinions ... I will share them, but only when I feel so inclined. Generally speaking, I think before I speak -- especially in large groups. But once you get to know me, I am an open book. Don't be put off by my apparent shyness ... because shy is the last thing to describe me accurately. I love when people open doors for me and pull out my chair for me ... but I usually forget and try to do it myself. I want to be respected -- I want my feelings to be respected and my thoughts to be respected. More than anything else, I want my body to be respected. I know how to be sexy, I know how to be desirable. I choose not to be those things because I do not want what comes when one intentionally creates a sexy persona. I like being told that I'm beautiful ... I like being told I'm sexy -- because those are not things I strive to be ... but I want my boundaries respected.
I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. "I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh." I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever.
I do not like being told things just to make me happy. I would rather be told the truth and be hurt than be "protected" and happy. I overreact sometimes. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm wrong or out of line. I like people who are strong enough to face me when I'm raging ... people who will let me angry for a little while ... people who won't think less of me for my somewhat sporadic mood swings. When I'm hurt, I withdraw. I threaten to run away from the situation that is causing me pain. All I want is to be told honestly that I'm loved ... that I should stay ... sometimes I need to hear it multiple times. But if you'll be a little persistent, I'll give in. If I really love you, I might start picking fights over stupid things ... for no reason. It means I'm bored. That things have gotten monotonous. I love just going with the flow ... I don't always want things planned out. I'm indecisive -- there are too many things I would really like to do ... and I'm afraid you won't like what I choose.
I am afraid of being lonely ... of having my heart broken ... of not being appreciated or wanted. Of people not knowing how much they mean to me. I'm afraid of drowning, of choking and of not understanding. I'm not afraid to be myself or of interacting with people who are different than me. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm wrong, but I will rarely admit it publicly.
support and appreciate people who can argue their point in an educated manner, who have a logical reason for things -- even if I don't agree. I don't like when people can't support themselves ... I don't like laziness. I'm trying to learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and I admire people who know how. I also admire people who can hula.
I love best friends and old friends ... and I love when new friends become old friends.
I love when guys are ticklish ... and I love laughing so hard I cry. Love songs are amazing, period the end.I have a hard time letting go and when I love, I love deeply. I'm sincere and genuine ... and I like people who are sincere and genuine. If you hurt me, I'm going to talk to my friends about it ... I'm a relational person, that's what I do.
Some of the most beautiful things in my life have ended ... but endings bring about strength and teach lessons that could never have been learned otherwise. And I can definitely appreciate that.
and above all else,
i am a simple lady.... but
I WANT EVERYTHING (lol)
MSN
thrillseeker_06
Skype
imhappyandiknowthatmakesyoumad
city
london
state/country
GB
time
Mar 2006 - present
highschool
immaculate conception parochial school '95
college
college of the holy spirit '99
BS Hotel and Restaurant Management
employer
noel arms hotel - chipping campden gloucestershire
position
chef de rang
employer
thistle hotel - highstreet kensington
position
waiting staff
music
rNb, pop, rock, alternative and lil bit everything else...
artists
so many to mention
movies
titanic, sleepless in seattle, the notebook, legally blonde, beautiful/crazy, a walk to remember, the fast and the furious, oceans eleven, a beautiful mind, harry potter, lord of the rings, sweet home alabama, transformer
tv shows
friends, marimar (rock on!), csi, oprah, and so many more
actors
george clooney, julia roberts, richard gere
