Slowly I rise from the once comfortable bed, on which I was lying. I cannot feel my legs, yet I manage to stumble to the dressing table. I glance up and look into the mirror, “who are you?,” I cautiously ask the figure staring back at me. She seems to be so tired, broken and depressed. I wonder if she has always been this way or if something only recently upset her..? I have seen her before, the last time I saw her she seemed so happy and carefree, and yet look at her now…. I see it in her eyes that the world is caving in around her, she is trying to be strong, she is trying to hold it up, but to no avail. She is shaking tremendously and I can see that she fears she is going to fail.

As I stand gazing at her, I see the little droplets fill her eyes. She tries to hold them back, but the emotion overwhelms her completely. Suddenly, I realize that I can feel the droplets that are running down her face, I am feeling her pain and her heartache. This fear is overwhelming, why do I feel what she feels? Who is the girl staring back at me as she cries..?

My legs soon give way, and I sink into an uncomfortable position on the floor. My legs are tucked beneath me, my head is resting on the cold, hard floor and I still feel those droplets running down my face. “Stop this!,” I scream aloud, yet I don’t stop. I begin to shake uncontrollably. “Please stop…?!,” I plead with myself, as the tears flow, this cannot be right. “You have not been so soft in an eternity, what has come over you suddenly?!”

The emotions soon swallow me whole, as I realize that the figure, the one who stares at me, the girl consumed by so much pain and fear, she is really me. My eyes feel puffy and my body feels old and tired. Slowly my eyes begin to close, and the world turns black…

Here I stand at the edge of a cliff, with the wind blowing all around me, and the waves angrily breaking on the rocks below. I feel so overwhelmed by this unknown emotion, and my eyes soon fill with hundreds of tiny droplets…


As the sky turns a dark shade of blue-black, the wind begins to blow vigorously… I can feel the wind nudging me, whispering to me, telling me “jump and it will all be over.” I stand on the ledge, close my eyes and spread my arms as if to fly, when suddenly a huge gust of wind comes up from behind and pushes me off of the ledge… I open my eyes and realize that I am falling! The speed at which I am hurtling towards the ocean is tremendous, yet it feels as if I am falling in slow motion. Slowly but surely the ocean is closing in on me, and the rocks are getting closer and closer. I am just about to hit the sharp, jagged rocks when everything around me turns black… “What just happened…?!” I wonder to myself. Strange as it may seem, I am still falling at a rate of knots, and I cannot see an end to this darkness through which I fall

It feels as though I am being shaken, even as I fall. At first the shaking is quite gentle, but soon it becomes violent and vigorous… Suddenly I open my eyes, I’m still on the floor where I collapsed earlier, and oh no… it’s him, he’s here, he is the reason I am shaking so violently… My body is now aching. Why must this happen to me?! Soon I am again completely consumed by numbness, my only true friend… Slowly the world begins to turns black around me once more..

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


She reaches for
Her trusty pen
Oh words, dear words
Bring forth poem's end

Of love, of loss
These all be true
But please I beg
Bring them clear through

My mind is twisted, clouded
Confused
My God
I ask

For you to choose
Words that "speak"
More than define
Words that "say"
As much as rhyme

Bring forth that mystic
Muse of devotion
Bring forth true
My heart's emotion

So that these words may
Be released
From my soul
Into poetic breeze

And if perhaps
They touch but one
Then I shall know
Thy Will be done.


~Lil Wing~

Added this footnote ... I want to add that I am writer., maybe a wannabee writer but nevertheless have been keepin notes, journals since high school. Most that I have shared is not about anyone but my own feelings and thoughts on life's experiences.. Some is from past notes that written and few is unfinished and when a certain occasion arises and reminded me to write a letter like or story and helps me to let go and close that part of dark chapters . Writings that I can only really express myself in order too keep my insane thoughts from progressing and release those unhealthly feelings instead of running too quit fixes of self destruction mobile aye lol. It is really a tool to help repair some holes in your heart and soul and release those negs vibes and fill it up with positive spirits and learn from it and to let go. Everyone, is different but all same meaning as writers to write down and you can visionalize where you been what you done about it and where you go from there, am I write or right aye lol, please feel free to give me some feedback oki? Don't be afraid for I won't bite unlesssss, im kidding. Oki so last thing I like to say is I respect all writers and when you can read in between lines and reply back wow we are doing oki. God Bless us and you...Mare