Sex is like a petrol station.
Sometimes you get full service,
sometimes you have to ask for service
and sometimes you have to be happy with self-service...

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar 'pay' she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.'
'My goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?'
The little girl replied, 'I will if those arseholes at Bunnings ever deliver the f...ing Gyprock...'

Kind of brings a tear to the eye, don't you think?

>> Four men were sitting around a conference room table being
interviewed
>> for a job.
>>
>> The interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
>>
>> The first man replied, 'A thought. It pops into your head, there's
no
>> forewarning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the
>> fastest
>> thing I know of.
>>
>> 'That's very good,' replied the interviewer. 'And now you, sir,' he
asked
>> the
>> second man.
>>
>> 'Hmmm, let me see... a blink!' said the second man.
>>
>> 'It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is
the
>> fastest
>> thing I know of.'
>>
>> 'Excellent!', said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye. That's a
very
>> popular
>> cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man who was
contemplating
>> his
>> reply.
>>
>> 'Well, out on my dad's property, you step out of the house and on
the
>> wall
>> there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the
>> paddock the
>> light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the
>> fastest
>> thing I can think of.'
>>
>> The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought
he
>> had
>> found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light', he said.
>>
>> Turning to the fourth man, an Australian, he posed the same
question.
>>
>> 'After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the
fastest
>> thing
>> known is diarrhoea,' said the Aussie.
>>
>> 'What!' said the interviewer, stunned by the response?
>>
>> 'Oh, I can explain', said the Aussie, 'You see, the other day I
wasn't
>> feeling
>> so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink,
or
>> turn on
>> the light, I sh # t my pants.'
>>
>> He got the job...

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