Pretty much the only thing I miss about Texas is Shiner Bock. Shiner Bock is a beer. It's pretty good. Even the radio commercials were kinda good. If you have a chance, try it.
Everyone in my age bracket that lives in California likes to ask me about Austin. People have a lot of wild ideas about what it is all about.
Tell you what... for all of you young Bay Area people that haven't been to Austin, I'll try provide a close approximation of what it's like to visit for a very short amount of time. Using a camera phone and my handy guide you can convince even the most diehard Austinite that you have, in fact, actually visited. (WARNING: Sarcasm ahead)
- Guadalupe street next to UT Austin is the same as Telegraph Avenue next to Berkeley. From the shops in that vicinity to the kids milling around on the street, I seriously can't tell a difference. While you're standing in Urban Outfitters, snap a picture on your camera phone so you can tell people how cool Austin was. Next, walk down the street and take a picture next to the Scientologist recruiters with their cute "stress tests." Austin is Berkeley with cheaper housing and more humidity.
- You know those bars with peanuts on the ground that serve flat beer? That's exactly what every "authentic bar" in Texas is like. Go to Antonio's Nuthouse in Palo Alto and take a camera phone picture there. Tell all your friends how cool "The Dixie Chicken" was. Don't forget to order Coors light! (Yes, I know the Dixie Chicken is not actually in Austin. But it's like the authentic Texas beer bar by which all authentic Texas beer bars are judged)
- Hipsters, Hipsters, Hipsters. Brooklyn, San Franscisco, Austin, LA. This should already be obvious to anyone that used Friendster 2 years ago. Can you look at the picture of the guy with the long hair and aviator sunglasses that likes Modest Mouse and guess which city he lives in? Neither can I. Just take a picture of your normal friends. Close enough.
- 6th Street in Austin is stupid. It's made up of normal huge/loud bars, just a lot more of them closer together. Did you see the Real World episode where the drunk guy on the Real World cast gets hit so hard by some other drunk guy on 6th street that his face gets broken and he has to get tons of surgery? Photoshop yourself into a still photo from that episode and consider yourself lucky for being able to "check out" 6th street and not need reconstructive surgery. Congrats to MTV for really capturing the essence of the 6th street experience. Reality TV at its finest!
- Thinking about working in Austin? Remember the movie Office Space? That's an eerily perfect satire of living in Austin as a post-college student. Mike Judge (the guy who directed it) lives in Texas, and while the movie has very wide appeal, if you pay attention to all of the scenes that appear in housing or outdoors, you can get a good idea of what it would be like to live and work in the Austin tech industry. Also, everyone really does eat at crappy chain restraunts. Take out a camera phone at the nearest Olive Garden and show all your friends in the mission how cool your Texas trip was.
- There are other parts of Texas than what I mentioned above, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't see any of them if you did a quick visit to Austin. And that's probably good.
BONUS SECTION: Here's a few handy terms to throw around for real authenticity...
"Mopac"
"Magnolia's"
"Willie Nelson"
"Tubing"
"The Drag"
"Waterloo Records"
"Taco Cabana"
"That guy who was in Dazed and Confused and Waking Life"
"Hippie Hollow"
"Matthew McConaughey"
"My band"
EXAMPLE USAGE: "Man, I was tubing all day at hippie hollow with the drummer in my band. Let's take Mopac to that Taco Cabana where we saw the guy who was in Waking Life smoking in the parking lot. Did I ever tell you I partied with him a few years ago?"
(This blog post was brought to you by the Safeway in my neighborhood that stocks Shiner Bock)
http://www.shiner.com
