To the ones who decided to come on my profile and know about the one named Siamo.
I have some words to see on this matter-whether you care to listen or not is entirely up to you.
Personally I could care less if you do read this or not for it might upset you.

First of all, I want to tell everyone just how I know this Siamo.
One day she decided to come to my Master and really wanted to know his age.
He wouldnt tell her so that upset her and it caused a really big fight.
Kirin had joined in the fight-I dont know if she knew the whole thing or not and I dont really care if she did or not either because Im not really that angry with her anymore.
Anyways, I obviously became quickly involved in this and that is how I met her Siamo
I was bent on destroying this Siamo for defying my Master and I kept on trying to pursue her.
I was fighting Arinikha for helping Siamo and I never got my fight with Siamo because she is more of the peaceful-type I am believing now.

Eventually alot more dolls were coming forth and fighting me for going against Siamo
I really didnt want to fight against other dolls-I only wanted the ones who were involved in the mess to begin with.
Then one doll came and said that she was going to report me to the Imeem staff.
I really didnt want to be away from everyone so I had no choice but to submit.
But even though I submitted I eventually had a deep hatred against all the dolls for what those two had done.
It didnt matter to me at the time that only two of the people had done wrong-the only thing that stood out in my head was that they were of the same family.
And because of that I soon grew to be very stereotypical of them and bent on breaking each and every last doll.

Then I came across Natsu and that whole thing had changed
I have already spoken much about this detail in my other blog so I dont feel like repeating myself over again.

Now you know how I came to hate the Doll Sanctuary with every fiber of my body
If anyone is to dare cross my Master...Im like a vengeful grudge dark spirit
I wont rest until that person who defied them also rests.....IN PIECES!
I will literally do ANYTHING to get them back.....its actually kind of scary in how aggressively obsessed I can get

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One day Kirin comes to me and asks for my forgiveness
To tell you the truth...
I was a little surprised at first in this
I also feel a bit angry too
But I told her that I forgave her
I dont believe that any of the dolls in the Doll Sanctuary should be enemies
Afterall, this is one big FAMILY and FAMILY is meant to be friends or at least be able to live along peacefully and succeed in a common goal.

To tell you the truth, I still felt a little unsettle with it all
But that is just the same how I felt when I started to like the Dolls.
Kirin seems like someone hot-headed and aggressive
Heh...but thats just like me
Another thing thats the same is the interest for dragons and such
But basically Kirin is a good-hearted person

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And now to talk about the death of Siamo
Now I'lll tell you right now to be completely truthful
I am not really crying - I am not really grieving either
I am feeling sorry for Siamo though and I feel a bit angry with her for doing suicide
I kind of am skeptical that she is dead and I keep feeling like she will come back
But I am always skeptical of things-its REALLY hard for me to believe things.

I will say this though
Even though I am not crying or even grieving for that matter
I am feeling a bit angry
Because to me...I see people are getting on with their lives just like nothing had happened
Yes...it isnt good to grieve in deep emotions-its better to be happy
But I just get the feeling that everyone is 'okay' with the idea or at least a large number anyways
If that really is the case then what I just said to Siamo was completely contradictory
I told her that people NEED her in their lives yet here I am seeing people without a care in the world
The whole thing sickens me

I didnt really get to know the 'good side' of Siamo much
I just talked to her the day before yesterday to get a general feel of how she is
But I am thinking that she was a generally great person
She loved her family and she loved her friends
She was very respectful and even kind to me
I really thought that I could help her out with this problem of hers
A part of me still feels like she is alive but another small part of me believes that she is dead
I just hope that my hunch is right and that she is alright

Now you could also be asking me
"Well arent you happy that she did do this? You benefited from being able to become the leader of the Blue Mages right?"
Yes I did become leader and I am still very happy that I am
Power has always been a big important part of my life so much so that it meant a life-and-death kind of thing (my strongest belief is the survival of the fittest)
But yet....I would NEVER want any of that to have happened to Siamo to just gain power
Master Zero has often asked "Is sanity the price to pay for complete power?"
So if I had a choice; Siamo's well being over a great amount of power-I would choose Siamo's well being.

I didnt want anything to happen to Siamo that was THIS bad
Not just because she was a doll but because I dont believe that ANYONE should suffer like this
I believe that everyone should be able to live a great fulfilled life in the general sense.
And I can only feel sorry for Siamo for her not being able to have that kind of life and that I feel a slight amount of regret for not being able to help her through this

I am happy though for her in a sense
For it seems like the time that she did have on this life, she did have wonderful people to be with
A great loving family and irreplaceable friends of hers
And I know that I feel that alot of people are 'okay' with this idea of her being dead
But I also know that even if its true that she is still a big part of them and that they wont forget her
Even I probably wont forget her because while you wouldnt really classify me as her 'friend' I do know that she was a big impact on my life so she too is a part of my life as well

~ Goodbye Siamo
If you are still living then I hope that you will come back and be near the ones that love you once more
And if you are no longer with us then I hope that you will be with the ones that love you that were lost to you in this life
Rest your head easily for a new tomorrow is promised to you always~