Whether you are the dumper or dumpee or have gone through a break up in the past or are currently doing so, we can all agree on one thing. it is not easy. im writing this post to share with you the things that helped my mind and my heart positively move on.

After becoming the dumpee in june after over two years of dating, i also became the dumpee again by the same person in december. and in both instances i used these tactics.

First and foremost, you have to train you're mind to think postively...eventually this will become an automatic way of thinking, but such isn't always the case immediately following a break up.


--It's important to keep telling yourself...
1. Your ex is an ex for a reason and there is someone better
2. You NEVER know who or what is around the corner
3. You had a life prior to your ex, and just because they are not apart of it anymore, does not mean your entire life has stopped.

--I have a box filled with memories such as pictures, concert tickets and cards from my past relationship, if you do not have a box and you still have items from your ex lingering around your house or room, i strongly suggest putting them in a box and storing it for awhile. i did not feel the need to burn or trash this box because i thought it would be beneficial in my healing process to review this box again when i was ready.

--Take up a new hobby, focus on yourself, meet new people, get aquainted with old friends. ..the take home message here is full your time with activites not involving your ex. you'll be surprised what you can learn from yourself and from other people that you may have been blind to while being in your past relationship.

--Be patient and learn to accept how you feel. understand some days will be harder than others,your ex may consume your thoughts for awhile and you probably will compare potential dating canadates to your ex. but time WILL make life easier. it may be a week, months or years...everyone heals at their own speed.

--Do not rely on your ex to heal you're broken heart!!! your ex should not be your confidant to help you get over them!!! no contact is the best way to becoming aquainted with them no longer being by your side. but WHATEVER you do.... begging, pleading, whining etc... WILL NOT bring them back, and if it does, chances are it is out of pity....and who wants to be part of a pity party? certainly not me....im better off alone thank you.

I can truthfully say that i am still recovering, but i have accepted the fact that we will never end up together, i no longer think about her every second of the day, i am dating other people and i have became accustomed to standing on my own two feet, while being independent. the journey has not been an easy one, but i certainly have come a long way since june. Best of luck to all of you on you're journey to recovery.