Don't you hate it when you have to suppress noise inside yourself. I'm going nutzo. I want to jump and go crazy in my casa. I have too much energy, but I need to study. Well okay I'm not at the moment. I'm taking a little break.

I've been blogging more often. I guess I have a plenty plus going on in my head. My head has been busy for awhile.

You know, I've been having reoccurring dreams. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Plus dreams are way too fun. My characters to my story are inspired by my dreams. I'm excited for sleep now, because it feels so alive

"Dreams are more real than reality itself, they're closer to the self."
-GAO XINGJIAN, Dialogue and Rebuttal

Maybe it's because I'm me, the "other" side of me. The eloquently spoken, more "in your face." say what i mean, mean what I say person. I'm so ALIVE, but I'm working on translating that into my conscious state. I'm very expressive in writing and dreams, but I want to be more vocal. Maybe that's why I write songs and sing. I was a little potty mouth in my dreams though. I think it's all that suppression when I'm awake.

As for the story I am writing, I'm trying so hard to dream about it again that it just won't come back, but yesterday night I found my inspiration for the jealous, psycho, stalker ex-lover. The dream was so intense that I can write my story and I can recall the feeling of it and it's so much easier to understand and write about the character. Now I know how psycho she really is. haha.

I've been around my hometown and just writing in places that remind me of the scenery in my story. It makes an easier write because I pretend to be her. I listen to the sounds, I smell the coffee in the small cafe, I feel the very essence of my characters. I'm never too old for imagination and playing pretend. I hope I don't make my story so cheese-filled, but hey i can be.

OH but what are my thoughts on love nowadays. I guess free? Free because I don't think Love has really wronged me too much, but in a way I'm stronger. A lot people of gone through worse so I'm not occupying myself with the notion. I've been thinking, being hurt is like your heart sinking down to your stomach, but i really can't recall that feeling. Being infatuated is certainly a high, but I also can't recall that feeling. As of now, I'm content and don't have to worry about roller coaster rides. But don't get me wrong; crushes come and go my way. Cupid shot the wrong boys or he did it on purpose. haha. I'm surprised. Love just don't bug me the way it used to.

And for some uncanny reason I'm craving for Vegemite...and this blog was longer than expected.

Love and light,

Lani

this is a different look. I wouldn't wear this normally, but it's fun trying different things and it was halloween so i have an excuse to do something different. I was a vampire (didn't have my teeth here) I tried to find my inner dita von teese. I love her beauty. Yes and please subscribe if you want updates on my music! i wish i could still send videos on imeem, but that's what youtube is for holla atcha girl.

ps. it's a Zero in mypist0la

"I used to party, drink and do all that bad stuff like you people and now i'm saved."

HUH? like you people? do you know me, have we ever met? no.

fyi. i don't drink, i don't party hardy like you mean and come on me? haha i'm a homebody who like to bake cupcakes.

okay frustration out.

anyways, Charlie. lalalalala

oh by the way, i found a new medium. script writing. i know nothing of this style. i'm a musician. not a script writer. But both goes hand in hand. it's my story, I can make it how i want it to be. Now only if I can translate that to life...

Just sending a little greeting and a bite! I've always wanted to be a cullen. okay hate me for liking twilight. I know they don't have fangs, but fangs are fun. What are you doing for Halloween? Nothing but a laid back evening giving out candy, watching Edward scissor hands and being mischievous. People are like really? that's all? well, I enjoy it. so there. What are your costumes??



xoxo and bites!
-Lani

i've been going to a couple of city council meetings. The first one was so juicy like I was in a court scene. The next one was well a tad bit boring. One thing I found interesting was how people used their body language. You can tell who cared and didn't care about a topic. I'm thinking about getting up the nerve to propose the open mic community event for public announcements. sweet. podium, mic and i get to be on tv. haha.

I think it's a great idea to be involved in your community. Hopefully music and the arts will start thriving and ignite some interest where I reside. I would have never gone to the meeting if it weren't for extra credit. Okay ulterior motive. I know, but what a good experience.

i'm not so into political science. It gives me a whack headache from all those "deep thinking" questions. Just so many sides to debate. Plus the teacher keep me on toes. *don't pick me...*hides...

but other than that class is great

though I do not enjoy poli sci (well other than the cute boy fact. i know. leave me be :] ) I do take away with me the important facts that translate into me thinking! *lightbulb Such as Rawls Veil of Ignorance. What if we all wore such veil to hide anything that would be based on race, sex, culture? As to find some "clear" equality for all. Interasante.

sleepy. goodnight.