LAST FIVE FILMS
Posted in screen on Nov 17, 2008 at 1:12 AM
OSS 117: CAIRO, NEST OF SPIESThe last few French comedies I've seen have left me hot & cold. I really liked "The Dinner Game", but I didn't care much for "My Best Friend" or "The Valet". This spy spoof, however, is very amusing if not exactly hilarious. The charm is mainly in the retro-ambience and Jean Dujardin's mannerisms.
My rating: 7.5/10.....................................
THE FALLApparently, this director also made "The Cell". I didn't like "The Cell" but, apart from an emphasis on visual artistry, I wouldn't have guessed it was the same filmmaker. This has a 'story within a story' device similar to "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen", "The Princess Bride", and "Big Fish", alternating between the fantastical and the mundane. While the fantasy segments are sumptuous, it's the 'real' hospital scenes that mesmerized me the most, and that's due to the relationship between the two main characters: an injured stuntman and a five-year-old girl. There is a good dose of humor, but things get heavy towards the end where the subjects of despair, death, and suicide are most prominent. Beautiful and emotive.
My Rating: 9/10......................................
INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULLOnly partially entertaining, unfortunately. There are a couple of fun and outlandish chase scenes, but the story gets too ridiculous, at times. The scene where ants drag a Nazi officer down their anthill taking the cake.
My Rating: 5/10.................................
QUARANTINERegardless of technicalities, this is - for all intents and purposes - a zombie movie. And it's a pretty suspenseful one. This film uses 'shaky-cam' and, for me, excessively so. Of course, the hysterical screaming and 'zombies' jumping out from every corner during one sequence added to the silliness towards the end. Still, I enjoyed it enough to make me want to see the original Spanish film "[Rec]".
My Rating: 7/10.....................................
[REC]This is the movie "Quarantine" was based on. They are nearly identical in most places, though some small story elements were changed. "[Rec]", however, is a little more effective and a little more frightening.
My Rating: 7.5/10
(Sung to the tune of "
My eyes are fully open")
Frodo:My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
I must take the ring to Mordor - origin of its creation
There’s a psycho here to guide me, and a friend to keep me steady
But to give up ownership... well, I'm not positively ready
I must get the thing to Mount Doom and discard it in its fire
I don’t know if I can do it, but I'll try to for the Shire
Even if I get it done we’ll be in quite a pickle, rather
As I’m bound to die tomorrow it just doesn’t really matter!
Gollum:It just doesn’t really matter -
Samwise:It just doesn’t really matter -
All:It just doesn’t really matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!
Samwise:Looks like Gollum’s goin’ schizo – I’ll be keepin' an eye open
If he tries anythin' sneaky, it’ll be an Elven ropin’
I'm sorely missin' Bagshot Row as we’ve no tea for brewin’
Cheer up Mister Frodo and check out the view of Orodruin
Even with the odd stewed rabbit he’s not growin' any fatter
If I have to, I can tote him; he ain’t heavy – he’s my master
Luggin' cookware through the Black Land may make me a ninnyhammer
I, for one, don’t think we’ll die, but my opinion doesn’t matter!
Gollum:His opinion doesn’t matter -
Frodo:His opinion doesn’t matter -
All:His opinion doesn’t matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!
Gollum:If we were not a Smeagol/Gollum or a Slinker/Stinker
We might truly aid these Hobbitses and not be a rat-finker
We might never stab 'em in the back and dish ‘em upon “Her” plate
Still the precious has a hold on us and leaves no room for new mates
Kindly Master’s not too bad, but it’s the other who’s a terror
If the nasssty one would take a hike - leave us with the ringbearer
We could have our hands on Master’s neck – our pledge we would then shatter
As we’re sure to die tomorrow, why in the world would it matter?
Frodo:Why in the world would it matter -
Samwise:Why in the world would it matter -
All:Why in the world would it matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!
petiteflower - 3/19/02 (revised in 2008)
LAST THREE RESTAURANTS
Posted in food & drink on Sep 07, 2008 at 11:11 PM
Blue Island Sushi (Federal Way, WA)
This is a
conveyor-belt sushi restaurant. One thing I wondered about was the seemingly inconsistent use of covers - some plates had them, others didn't. I assume they are for sanitation purposes, like individual 'sneezeguards'. That didn't stop me from grabbing anything - covered or not - that caught my fancy: shrimp, octopus, mussels on-the-shell, salmon, California roll... and as soon as I saw the gyoza coming around I was practically bouncing in my seat. I was glad it was one of the least expensive items as I must have had three or four plates of gyoza alone.
Everything was good, and the bar was set up well with gari (pickled ginger), wasabi, and both regular and low-sodium soy sauces. It would be nice if all meals were like this - seeing the items before making a commitment, being able to try lots of things in small portions, and pigging out on potstickers. I wish I could eat at Blue Island
every day!
...................................................
Applebee's (Puyallup, WA)
A late dinner at Applebee's truly hit the spot the other night. The Queso Dip & Chips appetizer was tasty. "Flavorful cheeses and freshly-made pico de gallo is served with a side of salsa and tortilla chips." The problem was its runniness. Mixing the side of salsa into it thickened it up, though. Unfortunately, there was too little chips for the dip. Seriously, even loading up the chips, we'd gone through less than half the dip. Thankfully, our server brought us more on request.
I chose the California Shrimp Salad: "Succulent grilled shrimp, avocado, crispy bacon, black olives, hard-boiled eggs and grape tomatoes all on Bibb lettuce. Tossed with a creamy avocado dressing for a great finish.". It
was pretty great, too. I enjoyed every bite and was even tempted to lick the plate. Thank goodness I didn't ask for the half-size! What would make it better? Serving some toasty, buttery bread on the side.
Due to an order mix-up, I had a Strawberry Cheesecake Shooter instead of a Strawberry Sundae. This was actually a good thing since I wasn't really in the mood for ice cream (I'd ordered it because our server had said they didn't have cake). Its small size was enough for several delicious bites, but not so much as to make you work to finish it off.
Although I ended up mixing water into my Strawberry Lemonade (or was it Limeade?) as it was overly strong in both sweetness and tartness, it was a very good meal.
...................................................
Branks BBQ (Sumner, WA)
It was a delicious and filling dinner, here. I had the "Hen" (half chicken) with sides of beans, potato salad, slaw, and cornbread. I was very pleased with the chicken, which was served as two pieces: thigh/leg and breast/wing. I don't know what sort of seasonings were used but I happily picked it to the bone. I'm not a big fan of bbq-joint beans, but the Branks' version was yummy and - as I wasn't expecting to find meat in it - a pleasant surprise. Cornbread is another non-fave, but Branks' was different - fluffier and smelling of vanilla. I liked it, but I thought they were being a tad stingy with the butter. Both the potato salad and slaw were good, but not particularly special. I liked the homemade chunkiness of the potato salad. It was quite mustardy, which is fine with me, but next time I'll go for the baked potato. And I liked the slaw's taste, but not its liquidity. The mousse-like dessert, included with the meal, was nice and light.
So, except for bones and slaw juice, I left nothing on my plate.
The ambience is where I'd like to see improvement. Lower level lighting and some music (I may be mistaken, but I don't recall any) would be appreciated. That, and maybe some pre-meal bread & butter, to distract one from noticing the less-than-inspired decor.
CAST
SwitchBlade - male, 28, usually laid back except when grammar and spelling are involved
MUGATO - female, 17, obsessed with artistic integrity and all things French
Reaper87 - male, 19, likes to use overt gore and violence
MerryWhether - female, 56, Administrator, bossy, fond of alliteration and puns
LadyLuvalot - female, 33, a yearning romantic, slightly dim
PageMaster - male, 26, a newer member, whiny, but shows promise
MaskedPoet - male, 40, short on words and talent but high in sincerity, in love with LadyLuvalot
SETTING
MerryWhether's coffeeshop, Gone To Ground, afterhours on an early Sunday evening - the first real-life meeting of LAST WRITES, an online amateur writer's group
MerryWhether: I hope everyone likes blueberry muffins. They were only $3.99 per dozen at the bakery. Oh, and there's still plenty of coffee to go round.
PageMaster: I hate blooburies. Where's the cheezecake? I was promissed cheezecake!
MerryWhether: Now, now. An executive decision was made to forego extravagance and apply the savings toward this evening's prize.
MUGATO: I love blueberries, but they'd be better with, say... a brioche or a croissant. N'est-ce pas?
Reaper87: Give it a rest, will you? This Gallic affectation is wearing thin.
MUGATO: 'Affectation'? Look who's talking, 'Gothboy'.
Reaper87: Hey, I like black.
MaskedPoet: LadyLuv, may I butter your muffin?
LadyLuvalot: That's okay. I'm used to doing it myself.
SwitchBlade: So, MW... what say you and I grab a real drink afterwards.
MerryWhether: But I'm old enough to be your mother. Your grandmother. Your great grandmother. Oh, and I'm married.
SwitchBlade: Eh. That just adds to the appeal.
MerryWhether: The age thing or the marriage thing?
SwitchBlade: Yep.
MerryWhether: *Ahem* Everybody comfy? Good! A big THANK YOU to all our local members at LAST WRITES' first groupmeet here at Gone To Ground. It's bean a pleasure! Now that we're better acquainted, let's begin our writing exercise. *THUD*
MUGATO: A dictionary? Mon dieu! Art cannot be defined by a book.
Reaper87: But, what a book.
MerryWhether: Impressive, isn't it? And worth every penny. Just look at the quality!
Reaper87: I would if I could lift it.
MerryWhether: Now! This is a poetry contest and the subject is 'Football' - 'tis the season and all - with a wordlimit of 25.
Reaper87: What the hell?
LadyLuvalot: Did she say twentyfive words?
PageMaster: Scroo yoo!
MerryWhether: Who said that?! Nevermind! The winner, by popular vote, gets to take home a giftcard worth $50, plus whatever muffins are leftover! So let's grab our pencils and kickoff. You have 10 minutes, starting... now!
*SCRIBBLE, SCRIBBLE*
MerryWhether: Time's up! Pencils down! I'll start, then we'll work our way clockwise. *Ahem*
Clawing cleats clench turf creating crying clumps
Holding a huddle has happiness healing the hurts
From this fostered fallow field they'll find freesia flowering forth
Reaper87: Errr...
LadyLuvalot: Brava! That's wonderful, MW!
MerryWhether: Oh, pshaw. 'Twas nothing, really.
Reaper87:
Players run the field
Zombies eat their brains
Stadium screams
Helmets drip blood
A sea of entrails
Floods the world
Saturating Earth
Making more zombies
MerryWhether: Hmmm... fascinating, Reaper. The subtle message of human savagery as a universal sickness was made even more effective by the hint of nausea it induced. Excellent! Now, it's MP's turn. Go on, don't be shy.
MaskedPoet:
Lady of my love
I love lots
Take me - I am yours
MerryWhether: So concise! Your use of the haiku form is masterful! Unfortunately, as usual, you've forgotten to use the assigned topic. I'm afraid your verse is disqualified. Still, an impressive bit of poetic brevity. Don't you agree, LL?
LadyLuvalot: Huh? Oh, sorry! I was fighting off a sneeze.
MUGATO:
They play a game
Then bend the rules
Penalty!
They tackle you
Then take the bag of beignets you brought for brunch in French class
Penalty!
Stupid boys.
MerryWhether: The intensity! The alliteration! The extra words! Disqualified!
MUGATO: Zut alor! You can't put limits on art, you know.
LadyLuvalot:
Alone. All alone.
Half a being
Searching for completion
My loins await a coming touchdown!
Scoring alone can fulfill this need
Love alone. All alone.
*Sob*
MaskedPoet: That was perfect, LadyLuv! You've got my vote!
MerryWhether: That was, indeed, a supremely heartfelt piece. The juxtaposition of sports and love was simply brilliant. I think.
SwitchBlade:
When the Panthers scored those goals
Chips were tossed up high. OHNOES!
From that beercan littered floor
I picked them up with my ten toes.
Reaper87: Too anemic, SB. How about "from the corpse-strewn floor-"
MUGATO: 'Gothboy', if everyone used cadavers we'd never be able to reach the muffins.
PageMaster: Hrmph. That wood be fine by me.
MerryWhether: PM, your attitude is unsportsmanlike. Either adjust it, or... put a mouthguard in it!
PageMaster:
It's time to play
Their on the feild
These fools will pay
'Cause this gun I weild!
*CLICK*
MUGATO: SACRE BLEU!
Reaper87: Great. One of us actually is a psycho.
MerryWhether: Put that thing down! Did I say you could bring firearms? Really, PM! I am very, very vexed! You are this close to getting suspended.
PageMaster: Ha! I dooped you all! I'm not PageMaster. I'm FlamingKwill!
LadyLuvalot: Who's 'FlamingKwill'? Wait a minute... weren't you banned?
PageMaster: Unfairly!
MaskedPoet: 'Unfairly' my ass. Oh... pardon my language, LadyLuv.
MerryWhether: Indeed. Your threats and abusive behavior were plenty cause for getting cut.
PageMaster: I was justifide! Now, prepair to bite it, Switchypoo!
SwitchBlade: But I'm not even a moderator.
LadyLuvalot: Wouldn't it make more sense to shoot the administrator?
Reaper87: True. If any of us is to be murdered it should be MerryWhether.
MerryWhether: Hey, now, hold on!
SwitchBlade: It's coming back to me. You're the guy who wrote "Stepping in a potwhole, I spilleded chowder upon my dickey".
PageMaster: And your the guy what said my riting was craptackuler. That my whatsit was sumthingorother. That my thingummy was whatchacallit. That-
SwitchBlade: That your grammar was on par with a second-grader's? That your spelling just plain sucked? That exposure to your tripe was akin to being force-fed Lawrence Welk's 'Greatest Polka Hits' albums 1 through 12 on repeat with the volume at max?
PageMaster: Yeah! Thats it! Tuff words from someone who ain't even a modderater.
SwitchBlade: Sheesh. I didn't think you'd take it so personally. And 'ain't' isn't proper English. Besides, my critique was the kindest.
PageMaster: Thats why their are six bullets in the gun. But first... the last thing yool all be hearing is my latest and greatestest poem "Whitherfore goest the nasal flooids?"
MUGATO: Reaper, take him down!
Reaper87: Why me?
MUGATO: You're on your school's Karate team, right? Use your moves.
Reaper87: I lied. I'm in the Chess club. I doubt my 'Look! it's Bobby Fischer!' move will work here.
PageMaster: "Dried up sinus canals, soooooo parched and raw-"
LadyLuvalot: It's not fair! To die without ever experiencing Grand Passion!
MaskedPoet: *SMOOOOOCH*
LadyLuvalot: MP! Why I... mmmm... oh my.... *SMOOCH*
MUGATO: Eeeeww... Stop! I don't want the last thing I see to be old people making out.
PageMaster: "Your like an ocean, 0nly without watter, so your more like a DESSERT, but you ain't got any sand-"
SwitchBlade: That does it. MP, a little help here.
MaskedPoet: *SMOO-* Oh, right. Forgive me, LadyLuv. *BOING* *FWAP*
PageMaster: GAHH! I'm blinded!
LadyLuvalot: *Ahem* Yes, well, a couple of 40D cups in the face will do that to you.
MUGATO: Bien! I've got the gun!
MerryWhether: Good teamwork, everyone! Now, someone call the pol- No, SB! Not the dictionary!
SwitchBlade: It's 'aren't' not 'ain't'! *THWACK* Get that through your thick head! *THWACK, THWACK*
Reaper87: Whoa, dude, leave some for the authorities.
MerryWhether: Give that to me! Grrrr... it's got blood on it!
SwitchBlade: Hey, I was provoked. So, uh, who gets 'MVP'?
..........
LAST WRITES
Announcements
Groupmeet Enjoyed by (Nearly) All
Firstly, commiserations to PageMaster who was prevented from attending the event due to car trouble. Let's hope his slashed tires, punctured gas tank, and broken windshield are soon good as new.
Despite threats of imminent death and gut-curdling poetry, our members are not unforgiving. Therefore, we are putting together a nice blueberry muffin carebasket for FlamingKwill to enjoy during his incarceration.
As for the contest, I am pleased to say it was unanimously decided that there was no clear winner, and that the Prize money should be donated towards a new dictionary for Gone To Ground. This will come in handy since, due to the success of our first local groupmeet, from now on, it will be a monthly event!
Our most joyous announcement, of course, is the impending nuptials of LadyLuvalot and MaskedPoet. Invitations are forthcoming for a special reception to be held at Gone To Ground. And there will most definitely be cheesecake!
Our last item is the procurement of LAST WRITES' new moderator, SwitchBlade. After making a smashing impression in wielding the good word on behalf of the English language, it was decided that he'd be just the person to handle onboard matters, as well. You could say the groupmeet was SB's defining moment.
petiteflower - 09/13/06
(A writing assignment for the subjects 'Play' and 'Football', limited to 1500 words)
Once upon a time, there was a lonely little village, called Ficklevale, which rested on the edge of a forest. This village was quite special. Why was it special? Because it had very talented bakers and confectioners who made the most delicious sweet treats you could imagine; candied oranges, ginger cakes, maple drops, lemon tarts, toffee puddings, and more. They were greatly admired and respected. Someone else who was respected, but also feared, was the witch, Malevola, who avoided the villagers and lived atop the old cemetery to the North. Once a week, she brought her bucket to the community well, and people whispered suspiciously behind her back.
Being isolated, the people of Ficklevale suffered hard times between trips to the city for supplies. During those times, some succumbed to starvation or malnutrition. But, in the forest, lived another witch named Benevola. She was very rich, but she felt compassion for the people of Ficklevale. One day, she came out of the forest and cast a preservation spell upon the village so that the fruits, vegetables, milk, breads, and meats would never spoil. This was a wonderful gift! Why was it wonderful? Because they could now store lots of provisions that would always be fresh and no one would die from starvation or malnutrition again. The people thanked Benevola and enjoyed fine health for several years.
After awhile, though, many of the villagers became dissatisfied. They never went hungry and no one had died in recent years, so why were they unhappy? Because health wasn't enough. They wanted wealth, too. So a messenger was sent to the house in the forest where Benevola lived and he asked her to bless the village with riches. But though she'd helped them to avoid great hardship, she refused to satisfy their greed. Disappointed and desperate, the villagers sent the messenger to Malevola in the old cemetery. She agreed to help and quickly cast a "Sweet Tooth" spell on Benevola to make her crave, and purchase, all of the yummy treats made in Ficklevale.
From then on, Benevola did, indeed, buy lots of their treats; all they made, in fact, which saddened the villagers. Why were they sad? Because, although they had become rich from selling their goods, they had no treats left over for themselves. The messenger was again sent to Malevola to ask her to make Benevola stop eating their treats before they could. "Let us have our fill, first, then she can have hers!" said the people of Ficklevale.
Malevola did as they asked, but Benevola stopped buying their treats altogether. People began to wonder if Benevola had lost her Sweet Tooth. They were happy, however, to enjoy their treats again.
After a few days, though, villagers began disappearing, and after six weeks, eight people had vanished. This worried the villagers, so they sent the messenger to ask Malevola about the missing people. But she only told him to go to Benevola's house to get his answer. The messenger was immediately sent to see the witch, but upon his return, the villagers were horrified by his news. Why were they horrified? Because, although the missing people were, indeed, at her house, Benevola had not lost her Sweet Tooth, at all. She was now satisfying her cravings with the flesh of the sugar-filled villagers.
Again, the messenger was sent to Malevola for help. She gave him a sleeping potion and told him the Sweet Tooth must be pulled from Benevola's mouth to end her crimes. Once the messenger returned to Benevola's house, he drugged her tea and removed the Sweet Tooth while she slept. Now, the sleeping potion that Malevola provided was very strong, so Benevola slept for a long time. So long, in fact, that she bled to death from the wound in her mouth. And with her passing, all of her magic died, too. At once, every person who lived in Ficklevale died. Why did they die? Because, long ago, Malevola had poisoned their wellwater, and it was only Benevola's preservation spell that had protected them.
So, Benevola was dead, the people of Ficklevale were dead, and - after the bodies had rotted for awhile - Malevola moved down from the old cemetery to reside in the corpse-ridden village. Why would she do such a thing? Because she had a Sour Tooth.
The End.
petiteflower - 10/15/06
