even though when he would play live shows with the rest of american music club it SOUNDED so good, i always liked his solo performances for their intimacy and rawness. he looked more vulnerable alone on stage and more at ease and more relaxed and more confident when he's w/ the rest of the band.

we were sorry to see he had fallen off the wagon at that point, cuz he threw down a whiskey while he spoke with us. and i think a couple beers to chase it. i even pointed it out to him, cuz i knew his sobriety was beneficial to his mood. he tended to get drink and get depressed. a common sentiment in his lyrics i think.

i said, "it seems like you don't really like performing in front of people." "yeah," he murmered under his breath as he stared at the floor while nervously brushing his foot along the floor, "yeah, i don't really like it, but what can i do?"

i saw him perform this song in san francisco from 1993-4, he really would nearly break up during the song at various parts. once he nearly couldn't finish the song and his eyes would tear up and he would turn his head away from facing forward (where he would only stare straight ahead at the back wall and not ever look down at the crowd, certainly not any particular person!) once after the show my friend and i determined to speak with him cuz we noticed he'd always do his own roadie work. he was really shy and humble and down to earth.