"A Man Always Wants To Be A Woman's First Love While A Woman Always Wants To Be A Man's Last Romance"
Does that sentence seem familiar to you? Well, I first heard of it from one of my favorite anime called Paradise Kiss. I really can relate to that saying, my chest just thumped and i thought "It's so true". Unlike others, my love-life just began, I can never predict how things would turn out to be because of my poor experience. Normally, people have crushes as they go through so much unpredictable events thus leading to your first love. Does anybody remember how they're first love turned out? Mine was bitter and it still is.
He was my first love, what a dream it would be for a guy to be the first love of such a gal. But a dream of mine to be able to be the last woman for such a guy? A last romance? Never. Ive known him for years, since my elementary days I always knew him for being the heart throb of the majority. Even the teachers would say he was such a good-looking guy and he was so irresistable. He knew that, telling him was not needed at all. He knew he was perfect, this made him even more interesting. Knowing this lead me to despising him and other men like him. I can't blame myself for hating him, i was a simple girl unexperienced of love.
I was his first love, what a dream it would be for a gal to be the first love of such a guy. A dream I never wished for, not in a million years. Would such a guy have an everlasting love? Able to be faithful as I always yearned for? Never. Ive known him for years, since my elementary years, but not anymore. I always knew him for being the nice guy, such a brilliant guy he was. Everbody knew he would go far and accomplish anything he would want. Even the parents would exclaim that he was such a smart boy, oh how his parents would be proud of him. He knew that, telling him was not needed at all. He knew he was excellent, this made me feel unworthy. Knowing this made me like him secretly. A secret crush for my admirer, how could I blame myself, i was a simple girl unexperienced of love
Years passed and my luck hasn't changed a bit. The things i have always wished for hasn't met my fate yet, and the things i haven't wished for stuck to me like a pesky fly. Twisted fate continueously teased me and they were an unseperable duo. The guy i hated foor being my love, and the guy i liked for being my admirer. I wish my eyes were open back then, i shoud have been aware of my unfortunate dilemma. I should have done something, something that would lead my life to the path i have always wanted. How could I blame myself, i was a simple girl unexperienced of love.
The guy Ive known to hate was still the person i knew before. Ive learned to like him, no, learned to love. I realized that I was mad at myself because I coudn't accept the fact that i was like the other girls who have fallen madly in love with him. Honestly, I was blind to his looks, I never thought of him as a pretty boy. He loved music, the guitar acctually. Sounds dreamy huh? This made him even more interesting. The dream Ive always wanted to be serenaded was unreachable. But time passed by, he never noticed my feelings for him. He thought that i always hated him because i treated him as if no certain feelings of likeness has overcome yet, it was obvious that he waited. He waited patiently, knowing this made me even more insecure. I didn't want him to think that i was such a predictable woman.
The guy Ive known as my admirer, i thought he would always stay the way like he was before, i was so wrong. Time passed by and he clinged to me as if there would be no woman else in his life. I found it rather annoying yet still flattering. I never appreciated the things he done for me. I was mad at myself because i liked him out of pity. He accepted the bitter truth that we would never end up together, that no similar feeling would embrace him. I never realized that i misunderstood my feelings towards him so wrongly. He loved music, singing acctually. Sounds dreamy huh? This made me feel even more unworthy of his affection. The dream Ive always wanted to perform a beautiful duet with such a guy. I never noticed my true feelings for him. I never showed him my feelings, i didn't want him to think that i loved him out of pity.
TO BE CONTINUED...