I couldn't touch your face or kiss your lips
I couldn't even hold your hand
All we could do was type words accross a screen
It was almost as if we were in this imaginary land

We grew so close and you became my best friend
I fell in love with you over time
Through all the Instant Messages, phone calls, texts, and emails
Our love grew higher than we could climb
Days turned to weeks, and weeks turnes to months
We knew each other better than anoyone ever could
Endless hours were spent talking about everything and nothing
We laughed and we cried, we spent more time together than we should
Our love was like no other, different yes but true
How can I fall in love with someone I can't see?
Maybe it was the words you typed across my screen
Or maybe it was the thought of something that could never be
We dreamed and we hoped, we made promises that we could not keep
We promised we would be together someday no matter how long it would take
But sometimes promises get broken and dreams don't always come true
Hopes get crushed and hearts break
For me you could not wait
What happened to us being together forever?
I thought you meant what you said. I guess that's my mistake
Now I must move on and forget about the six months that we shared
Those months together I can never get back
You faded away from my life as quickly as you had entered it
My heart feels as if it's recovering from a brutal attack
The memory of you still lingers on my mind
The tragic way things ended were all unseen
I still find myself sitting in front of my computer from time to time
Waiting, wishing and hoping for those beautiful words of yours to pop up just once more across my screen

This Moment Feels So Good…
that I want to make it tangible
I want to hold on to this feeling
even after this moment has passed
I do not wish to think back
with only the gesture of a memory induced smile
I want to literally feel the energy then
as I can feel it now
No matter what the future holds for us
I want the option to go into my box of tangible things
Pushing aside the love and photographs
I want to retrieve this emotion...
a feeling I know will never be duplicated
could never be replicated
and is too complicated for time to capsule
I need this moment to be tangible
because I know forever is not

If you are experiencing this in your life, let me share with you what I am learning.
Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in his or her life.
The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms, and they know no boundaries.Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life they will continue to do so.
The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life.
You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.
Toxic people will drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to stay away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing. Trust your instincts. They never lie; move away from what hurts you and move toward what feels good. This is one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.
Toxic people are extremely negative, spiteful, miserable, whiny, jealous, thoughtless, irresponsible, selfish, and insulting. They can be mentally unstable, in poor health, or just plain egotistical.
They cause other people pain, craziness, and frustration when everything does not go as they think it should. They are not hard to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people.
It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel inadequate and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going insane, but don't worry; this is the true mark of being with a toxic person lol.
Remember this so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person.
Know that when people are toxic, it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues may consist of physical illness. A toxic person's behavior has nothing to do with you. In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions.
Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel badly, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not take responsibility.
Realize this and you take back your power.
The best thing we can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt us anymore. If you can't literally walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do that by being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach.
It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically. Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health.
Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better. Begin detachment by repeating affirmations. Affirmations are powerful because over time the mind believes what we program into it. The following are some good examples to help you, but feel free to make your own that speak to you personally.
I do not care about ***.
I will not allow *** to hurt me anymore
Detaching from*** will help me to be healthy on many levels.
I control my own life and decisions.
I am strong.
I feel good about the decision to disconnect.
Detachment is healthy and necessary.
Most importantly, develop supportive relationships with your partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. There is strength in numbers. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you.
Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life. Rita

Loving you is the greatest thing in my life and I'm really thankful for that. Do you know that I've fallen deeply for you? We'll be together forever, that's what you always say, and it really melts my heart. I've tried many times to let go of this relationship, but every time when I think of it, I could feel thousands and thousands of needles pricking my heart; it hurts, it really hurts. It's not because we don't love each other, it's just that I'm too late.For the past few months , we laughed, we cried, we've been through lots of stuff, the more arguments we had, the closer we got. It has gotten to the extent whereby I can't live without you by my side; I can't imagine life without you, it's horrible. I'm not sure what will happen but one thing I'm sure of is that the smile that I used to have will no longer be there.Life won't be easy without you by my side, all the times you make things right. And I would forgo everything for you, would you too or would you even cry for me? And I, I'm still loving you ba7bak w ra7 dal 7ebak, no matter where it takes me to ... for as long as I can be by your side. And I, I'm still missing you, I will give my all to you, cause I know you're true .I'm not the best girl in the world, but I'm just a girl who loves you very much. Hope you can really understand how I feel for you. As long as the river touches the sand, my love for you will never end. What is it I want now? I want for you to be happy habibi, That is what I ultimately want for you ... happiness, and I truly hope you find it,
Love always Rita




thomni-3ala-sadrak1.mp3 - Kazem El-Saher

Michael Bolton - 14 - I Promise You.mp3 -

When I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness that no one else ever could. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. You have touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Every day I wake up thanking God for you. You have given me so much, and I don't know if I will be able to give back all that you have given me. You have been my guiding light when I was lost. You have been my comforter through all my trials and sorrow. You have been my rock.
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you’re there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.
I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.
I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.

It’s been a while since I’ve been around,
It took a while to say that you I have found.
It’s been a while since I’ve been walking this place,
It took a while to find your face.
I never would’ve thought that I would feel this way
I never would’ve thought that I would be writing this today.
As I sit here and write, all I can do is smile.
I think to myself, it’s really been a while.
It’s been a while since I’ve had this feeling,
For my heart- right now it’s healing.
And being with you is different from being with the rest,
You help me realize that it’s okay to be my best.
It’s been a while since I’ve been as happy as this,
Each day I wait for that flawless first kiss.
I know it might be different because of what we are,
But I know it will be amazing because of who we are.
You understand me like no one else has before,
And each day you make me laugh more.
You talk to me like you’ve known me forever,
It’s been a while since I’ve said “never say never”.
You fill me with so much happiness,
It’s been a while since I’ve been in a place like this.
A place with flaws, strangeness, and abnormalities,
You’ve showed me how to accept this and you put my mind at ease.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt so inspired,
It’s been a while since I knew what I desired.
You have opened me up and reached deep down in my soul,
You have brought the other part of me out and have made me whole.
I know why I met you now, I’ve finally figured it out,
You must be my angel, there’s no doubt.
I go back and forth with my feelings ‘cause I know this isn’t what you want,
But soon enough it’s your feelings I’ll have to confront.
It’s been a while since I’ve told someone the way I feel,
It’s been a while since I’ve made a deal.
So let’s make one, a deal that has to do with you and me.
Let’s make a deal where we can see,
See what we can do for one another mentally and emotionally,
Let’s stop speaking hypothetically.
Let’s give it a try,
This thing called you and I.
Let me be your needs,
Let me be your fantasies.
It’s been a while since I’ve let life just flow,
But this time I really want to know.
I want to know what you think when you sit next to me in the car,
I want to know what you think when I can’t go into that engagement party.
What do you think,
When they say, “She can’t dance”?
Does it bother you that I still have yet to see it all?
Does it bother you that there are going to be times where I may stumble and fall?
But I have already fallen, can’t you tell?
I have fallen for a fallen angel, I am under a spell.
It’s been a while since I’ve gotten butterflies,
It’s been a while since I’ve seen such gorgeous eyes.
So, since it’s been a while since I started telling you how I feel,
Let’s go ahead and start this deal.
A deal where we are both happy and always smile,
Because my dear angel, it’s been a while.
Love Rita

When I need you - Julio Iglesias




You Are The Love Of My Life - George Benson & Roberta Flack

My heart is sinking to go deep into your heart.
How my words will influence you? I don’t know.
There are some deep desires in my heart.
Some grayish desires with lines of black.
I m keeping all these desires with a dream

Hoping to help you to reach my heart
But can you give me a more than a dream
I don’t want to live like this peacefully with them.
A needle is piercing my hairs
and you know what? I m feeling pain, an endless pain.

My soul once flew and I left alone with a body,
To live with all these brutal animals.
I lived and lived and hope I will get used to life
Now I got that I haven’t lived life but life lived me.
There is confusion, a web of tangling feelings
I want to leave everything, every thought, every me
Do what you want to do now, I will not say anything
You are free and I m free from my soul
What if I didn’t get that ‘sinking’?
But, how to make sure I will be happy with you?
I m now going on a different path
The path where I have never went
I will go alone,
Together with my shadow and my God
To live in this world
To live my life
I will think now and will think about me.
You can come, whenever you want
My heart has no desire for you.
But my heart will welcome you.
The gate is open with red carpet lay there
Just I have to spread flowers when you will come!

A welcome of ‘sinking’ for which I m waiting!



Im Missing You - Bea Alonzo

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. . . . . . . . *sweet kiss










hobbies

Who are you this time?
Someone -I like .....hopeful.
Taking my own hands.....arched in reverence.
Stop fighting for air....breathe in the truth.
destined to live...to love
butterflies
Liquid Sunshine
To think on death....is to insult life.
An abuse of soul...our souls covet eternal life...clouded in mystic religion.
Life is a secluded cocoon...we bloom....when we stop lying.
Such liars...kissing the lips of deception.
Full on the mouth.....becoming lovers with pain.
Holding on to things that do not matter....ask yourself why?
Lies
Never let them touch the tongue....makes it so you never remember what you said.
Chaos
I will never believe you again.....or trust in you -at heart.
Abandon it....to complete cartharsis.....soul vacuum.....cleansing.
So many things left unsaid, yet understood to its fullest.
I am flying in spirit....the wind stings....feel it?
Hear me breathe?
Eyes to Look Into
Eyes to forget time in...
Can you see it?
If there is no vision....there is no life.
Sit there then....."waste life"...pretend that you do not understand.
A master of the craft.....the seduction of mind.
What do you let seduce your mind?
If you can answer that.....you are at the root of all of your problems....and your joys.
All of us looking for a feeling....a feeling of ......being there....just being there.
My soul has been full of confusion....lost within itself.
How can so many truths....be so wrong?
The mirror...will I have to look into it....and see someone else looking back?
To look into your own eyes.
Like you are looking into the face of your Twin
The glass of the mirror....shiny reflection -of the light of the soul.
Finally let your gaze fall upon yourself.
Self Absorbed......lily of the valley?
To look someone in the face....the eyes...to watch the mouth move.
Connect -she said.....so many words I have collected .....to make no point in particular.
Can I go on forever?
Forever?
A pink satin dress?
A tiara?
Fairytales......quit comparing life to -fairytales....and maybe you will quit being so disappointed.
Someone has it all figured out.
It is not you.
I have really missed talking to myself...journaling..tangible emotions displayed.
Mouths bound up....from too much of nothing to say.
Finally.....I no longer care what I reveal with my...."words".
Sunshine and butterflies?
Blue Roses?
Red Roses?
Yellow Roses?
Deep haze of blue....shadows my soul.
Cry?
Laugh?
*both*

We have all heard the saying, “If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned.” But how true is that statement? If you know you are walking into a bad situation or a bad relationship should you expect to suffer the consequences of that decision or is it possible to play with fire and not get burned? This is the question I have asked myself the most lately. If everyone else tells me that a relationship is bad for me, and I know that it is, does this mean that I should just end it before something bad happens? The truth is that most women like the challenge. We like to play the game. We like to play with fire. But has the lack of fear in us only made us all pyros in our relationships? All that I can hope is that getting burned by a bad relationship is like getting a sunburn. Yeah it will hurt for a little while but once the pain is over it turns into a beautiful tan. In my experience I have found this to be true… even if you do get yourself into a relationship that is wrong for you and you play the game it usually is frustrating and annoying and irritating but if you deal with the heartache and frustration of a burning relationship it’ll end up making you stronger. Just put your 45 on and don’t be afraid to play the field. (Rita)