Well, It has been quite a while since I last posted, I don't know if I will continue myself. I just can't make a habit into posting an entry everyday or so. So, Its winter break for me now. Fun? not really. Honestly I wanted to go back to school the day I got out. I have two projects I am working on over my break. One, I have to make model of a house, and Two, I have to draw a self portrait. The self portrait is comming out very well actually, I might be finished tonight. As for my model, it won't be done so quickly. I'm really surprized at myself because of me being so impatient to go back to school. I didn't think I would miss my boyfriend so much... He can't call me because he doesn't have a phone and he doesn't live close enough to come vist. I almost feel pitiful. January 30 th will be our 2 year anniversary. Before the break, we agreed to go on a date for Valentine's. This has been the longest ten days ever. Hopefully after I invite a friend of mine to come over in a few days, I'll feel better.
But I must try my best to hang in there. I'll be back in school in just seven more days.

I decided that even though this place isn't really popular for blogging, I don't mind I will blog here instead of my usual site where I blog, because of the update and so many changes in it, I can't work with it. I don't care if anyone doesn't ever comment or view this. This is for my pleasure. Now for the post.

Earlier on today, as I was riding the bus home from an early dismissal from school, I got myself into a conversation with a girl of the same class but I don't talk with her much. The topic some how got on about my personal life with my boyfriend "Michael". I didn't really mind talking about him or about "us". She ask me the ever so popular question: "How long y'all been together?". 7 months is how long we've been together. I broke up with him last summer after 5 months of being with him. Count all of that together and that is a year. A long time? Yes, but it seems to go by fast I guess when I look back on it. Anyways, the girl started to talk to me about the time when she went out with a guy for 5 years. Amazed? yeah, but then she ask me are we going to get married? I said no obivously, I said that we already know that we won't be seeing each other for that long. At least we had that understanding, but she didn't.
I want to ask a question: When was it ever so bad to care for someone but have a thought that it wasn't going to last as long as we wish? I say that shows how close of an understanding we have on each other. That is very important to me. As I was going through middle school I notice some people were in relationships and to be honest I wanted to be in one too. It wasn't my top priority but it was close. I met Michael in my freshmen year of high school so I was very naive' and oblivious of relationships. Though, I did have an idea how it was like through shoujo manga and anime. I realize when people say "love is bitter sweet." they really mean it. You may understand a saying or a quote when you are young but you may not truly understand it until you've actually had experience with it. School stress is even heavier to bare when you have a boyfriend or in a relationship, especialy when its pretty serious. I find myself changing into something I can't control. This has got me spinning around so fast that when it finally stops, I lose focus, I lose my way in things, like I can't even walk straight without falling down. In this process of finding who I want to be, I may get into fights with my closest friends, and looking for that person that I want to be with, is blind. In a minute I can feel so fine, then in just one meeting with him it can bring me down. Pissed off at everything and eveyone. It's makes me feel ashamed. But then it's so funny, to find myself in this kind of situation. As a child I always planned things out. I saw what was wrong, I understood it was wrong and I told myself to never be like that when I get older. So, I was wrong either way I look at it. I can't help but with so much that affects my future.