This is one of the funniest,contemplative and substantial blog that i have read so far in one of my sites..
I know that some of you might be a bit surprised but then i cannot help but post.. if you do not feel like reading the blog please feel free to stop reading it...
im aware that it carries some political and societal issues that is really sensitive to other people.. it made me think deeply about some peculiar and unexplainable things in life. feel free to comment if you want.. violent reactions are greatly honored just NO "F" word please.... LOL
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Where Is The Love?
BY Tuesday Wang
'I think the whole world's addicted to the drama, only attracted to the things that bring you trauma.' Tuesday Wang asks Trevvy members where the love has gone. 09/09/2008
One lazy afternoon, I was at one of those popular coffee places sipping my orange juice (coffee or tea makes me over-hyper) with my gay but straight-acting friend, Roy, when he gave a furtive snort, spraying mocha all over the table. Alarmed, I scrambled to rescue my phone from death by coffee while casting around for what had caused the reaction.
All I saw was a bunch of muscular guys dressed in bright tank tops, bermudas, sneakers and carrying large duffel bags. I didn't see what was causing his amusement at first.
Then I saw it. Oh.
One of the perfectly built guys was wearing a loose pair of bermudas, which was hanging loose on his hips to reveal tanned, dimpled buttocks and a neon-pink g-string. With shiny sequins.
I admired the fleshy globes for a second before I turned back to my friend, who was red in the face. “I thought g-strings were out of fashion. What a bunch of Macho Marys!” He gasped between chuckles.
“That colour and the sequins were a bit too much,” I admitted, “but he has a great ass.” I didn't really see the joke.
Roy snorted derisively. “You won't catch me dead in that thing. And whatever kind of ass he has, you'll never catch me dating one of those Marys.” He flapped his hand around loosely to emphasize his point.
I was puzzled. “Why not? He looks quite good, with that tan and that body. Isn't he your type?” My politically incorrect friend, whose inner bitch seemed to have been unleashed by the pink sequins, shook his head. “Nope, never. No Macho Marys or sisters for me.”
Fascinated, I surreptitiously jotted the exchange down in my notebook (sorry Roy), which brings us to today's topic.
Name calling or stereotyping. Many of us have probably experienced it in one form or another, whether it has got to do with our looks, our size, our dressing, our demeanor or our sexual preferences.
Gay people get tagged with a lot of names, like fags, sissies, queers, Macho Marys and so on. Usually these names come with negative connotations. Even the word 'gay' has evolved in recent generations to mean 'rubbish' or 'stupid'.
I believe that these names are the foundations of segmentation and categorisation, which leads inevitably to homophobia and discrimination. After all, give a dog a bad name and hang him. Get enough people calling us queers and sissies in a derogatory manner and soon everyone will see us as such.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), over time, we ourselves have assimilated some of these names and made them our own. It is either a sign of the resilience or the indifference of the rainbow culture that we were able to take what was originally meant to be derogatory and make use of them in a positive light. (Then again, who can actually take offense at being called a fairy? It's such a happy and pretty word...)
Somehow though, the homophobic perpetrators and even the general populace sometimes seem to delight in thinking up terms for gay people and then injecting them with as much scorn as possible.
Such stereotyping is dangerous, because it leads to extreme homophobia. In certain countries, homophobia is legitimised by governments, and gay people face persecution and violence from police, employers, hospitals and community organisation. In Latin America, for example, one gay man was killed every two days in 2005.
Sheltered in sunny Singapore, many of us fail to realise how much discrimination can arise from the stereotyping of one's sexuality or behaviour. Yet it exists, and it comes from the most basic cultural dictation – gender definition. A boy is supposed to act like so, and a girl must behave like so.
When so many of us have encountered such teasing or discrimination in one form or another, or have heard about it, have read about it and have even studied it in literature.. it is important that we don't allow this hate to permeate our ranks.
One would imagine, that being a community that is familiar with the kind of treatment and bias that homosexuals can be subject to, we would be comparably understanding and accepting of differences.
Except that within the gay community itself, there exists certain not-so-subtle forms of prejudice. Muscle lovers hating on pretty boys, straight-actors demonising queens, preppies against punks, tanned versus fair, skinny guys sneering at chubs.
Why do we categorise ourselves so? Should we limit ourselves to specifics or types when society has already done such a good job of imposing such appellations on us?
In fact, I suppose that this article will evoke comments from strictly-straight-acting readers about how effeminate gay boys spoil the image of the gay community, how their loudness and campiness give people the wrong impression of gay people.
I beg to differ. From young, culture dictates behaviour, it states that boys are meant to be sporty and decisive, strong and brash decision-makers, while girls are expected to be emotional and expressive, shy and gentle. Culture, however, does not shape every facet of individual personalities.
I believe that all sorts make up the world, and all sorts spice up my life. It doesn't matter how we each behave, how we dress or speak or live; all of us contribute both to the gay culture as well as the impression that others have of us.
We need to first be able to accept other gay people – albeit with different tastes or behaviours or looks – as who they are, before we can expect the world to one day accept us.
Of course, not all of us have such strong opinions. Many of us have adopted the 'live and let live' motto, to agree on disagreeing. Some of us are able to look past the peripherals and focus on what makes us gay – it is the simple fact that sexually, we prefer the same gender.
A category or a name does not change who a person is. It does not make that person better or worse than he really is. It can, however, give him strength, for is it not said that whatever does not kill you will only make you stronger? Show some love for yourself, and for the people who are different.
PS: To the person who labeled me a 'Queen' in my previous article, thanks, you gave me the inspiration for this piece.
Author’s bio: Tuesday is called Tuesday because he was born on a Tuesday. It's that simple. And yes, he gets a lot of jokes about his name.
