(6 songs)

May 30th, 3:40am

(11 songs)

May 21st, 9:52am

(11 Videos)

Apr 22nd, 10:40am

(8 Videos)

Apr 21st, 12:39pm

(1 Video)

Apr 16th, 12:38pm

(1 Video)

Apr 16th, 12:37pm

(0 Videos)

Apr 16th, 11:04am

(1 Video)

Apr 16th, 11:04am

(2 Videos)

Apr 16th, 11:03am

~~ 11th Husband ~~

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times..?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband # 5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God, I miss him.

" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful," said the husband, "but why?

"You're with the "GOVERNMENT"... This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED ."

Pastor's wife's letter



How's this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is Brilliant.


And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of
the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative,
and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme
Leader that person known as "The One".


He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but
He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you.
My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change.



Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he
has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even
though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised
that it was good; and they believed.




And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the
people said "Sock it to them!"


"And redistribute their wealth."



And the people said, "Show us the money!"



And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for
everybody"



And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.



One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?"
And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with
radical terrorists?"



And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!"



And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"




Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes."



And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes."



So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"



And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you
sell your homes!"



And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.



And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for
EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every
person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the
clinics."



And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."



And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!"



And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates."



So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted.
Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free
lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed
housing...."



And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs
and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers.
Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank
like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed.. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm
here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will
have enough!"



But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."



And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!"



And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?"



But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat
upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without
sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.



And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not.



It's happening RIGHT NOW !!!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, Cleveland, Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here goes:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. Love Much, Laugh Much, enjoy much. It's all we have.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. "

For this weekend I wish u a funny day, a cold shower and a lot of fun.

Hugs,
Shanti :)))