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Ty Showers artists should visit music.taliferro.com
Do you ever feel like you're speaking another language?
Posted in Information of Interest on Nov 07, 2008 at 5:41 PM
Current Mood: annoyed

Often times when I converse with people, especially in email, the receiver is offended, confused or both. They seem to read into words, meanings that are not intended. No matter how nice of an email or how nicely I speak to an individual, conflict will ensue.

Must be in my DNA.

I'm a firm believer in being direct and don't bullshit around an issue or explanation. I must admit that I do not have these issues with people of similar ethnicity as myself. Say what you mean and mean what you say - unless the intent is to hurt someone's feelings. This was pretty common when I was growing up.

WHENEVER there is a non-black person I'm conversing with, you can bet, misinterpretation is imminent.

I wrote Native Instruments technical support, and they responded with, they didn't understand my questions or they could tell I was new by the type of questions I was asking, or they implied I didn't read the manual (even though I did not mention anything about a manual).

I posted a question to the Cakewalk forum and the response didn't match the question. Another post said the question was unclear.

I worked on a software consulting project recently and I needed to ask questions to understand the problem and provide a solution. The expectation of me was, through some supreme power, understand the problem by looking at some pictures and come up with a solution.

I try to be as succinct as possible with clear descriptions - to the point. However communication from non-blacks is often vague or clouded with unnecessary words, drawn out explanations where you have to read between the lines.

This is a why I love creating music! With music, you create, distribute it, and let people interpret it. It may or may not be offensive or mis-interpreted, but as the creator the onus has been put on the listener, your job is done.

I wish I could communicate this way.

I'm just curious to know, if I'm the only one this happens to? When communication with someone of a different ethnic background, do you feel like you're speaking another language?

9 times out 10 I have to repeat my last name and spell it. S H O W E R S. This really pisses me off! How can you misunderstand Showers.

Any advice or similar stories greatly appreciated.
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Comments3)

Nov 8th, 1:43am
Hi! Mr. Ty,
I'm Tonie from Asia, Thailand to be exact. I love music in fact all my family is all into music. My brother is now working as Musician in a 5 star Hotel in Thailand including my younger brother. My Dad though he finish Accounting and he is CPA graduate by the way, he is also singing bought me and my mom are the only one who diverted our career to other way, I work as Director of Human Resources Asia Pacific - I handle all world Hotel in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia and India.
It never brought to my mind that talking to a black man will give me a headache in fact I have a lot of friends who hails from South Africa and Congo, Zimbabwe, Kenya so I think I love this people we may be different in color but we know how to give way to each other. By the way Mr. Ty I'm not white people my skin is brown. I just admire you being so out spoken especially of what do you like to say. I really don't have it I think twice first before I said it. But the way I look at you you're really great.
Next time I will try to view some of your materials and make sure to comment on it.
ciao....
Tonie
Nov 8th, 1:47am
I just would like ask what kind of genre you play or sing?
Nov 16th, 9:13pm
Online communication is a tricky thing, especially if you didn't grow up with it like a lot of imeem users. I have actually read some good articles about this. When you speak to someone face to face, or even on the phone their are many visual cues and tonal inflections that communicate what the intention is behind your words. That's why you see a lot of people who communicate online using emoticons and acronyms, like LOL. They help to put a context to the words. People who have not grown up with these things find them cheesy and a bit juvenile, but they really do help to put your words into context.

I'm like you, very direct. Since I don't really feel comfortable with a lot of emoticons (I always feel like a teenage girl when I add a smiley face to a sentence), I try to keep in mind that words can be interpreted many ways and put extra care into what I'm saying and how I'm saying it.

I'm pretty thick skinned, but I've noticed a harsh tone in some of you're messages as well. Since I've spoken to you on the phone and we've exchange a lot of good information and ideas, I understand the context of your words, but most of your readers don't have that benefit. Try to keep that in mind.

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